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replying to Hox

Sorry didn’t mean to press question marks ????

replying to Jk3

I couldn't talk to family or friends either, I wanted to keep it quiet.

I found that he didn't care about anything the alcohol and coke came before my feelings. I found my husband would try to manipulate me and would lie which was completely out of character.

You can tell him how you are feeling but it won't make him stop. He has to want to stop using. My 'husband' didn't think he had problem never mind an addiction to the stuff. Stopping wasn't an option at the time.

I do understand only too well.

replying to Hox

No I want to keep quiet too, cause I’m embarrassed.

I know he needs to want to stop, and by me talking to him yep again hoping he will want too. If he doesn’t I think we are in need of serious space.

1 reply

replying to Hox

This reads like what I’m doing now to my wife. I struggle to stop my self I know I shouldn’t do it I know. But I’ll do it stay out all night rock in total disrespect. Yet the week after again same. In the week I come down and think that’s it no more. I’m now looking at myself is it a lack of backbone or addiction ? Is saying I have a addiction a cop out ? Am I man enough to control my vices ? I don’t know where to turn

replying to Goose

Hi Goose.

This forum is where to turn. It does help if you want it to.

It has helped me when I thought I was the only one that had a husband that reacted this way to taking cocaine. Everyone else was having a good time in his circle of friends and didn't seem to have the problems with the come downs that he was experiencing.

You say that in the week when you have come down 'that's it no more' can I ask why you say you want no more?

2 replies

replying to Hox

hi knew to this,i married the love of my life in august I new he did cocain now and then like 3 times a year since getting married he is taking it a lot more leading up to Christmas he was doing it evrt night I was waking up and walking over him asleep in the kitchen he started getting aggressive when on it so i told him it was over if he didn't stop he promised he would think that lasted two weeks since he is doing it evry weekend some times not coming home.

i really don't know what to do ive tried talking to him but its difficult as he gets angry im not eating ive got anxiety im so unhappy i work all week and now dread the weekends.

1 reply

replying to Hox


replying to lindey

What is your situation now? X

replying to Fedup

My 'husband' told me he thought he could be depressed. I told him he wasn't and that it was the alcohol and cocaine he was using but he didn't agree. Like you say it is laughable really drinking and sniffing that up your nose. He used to be an intelligent man.

It is the same where we live, drinking and coke is normal and ours is a nice area too. My 'husband' used to say it disgusted him even though he did it himself. I wondered why at the time because when we went out only I didn't partake and everyone seemed to be having a much better time than me. I was just fed up, bored and uncomfortable. I have learned a lot.

I too have been supportive and done everything I can but it has gotten me nowhere. I have had enough of the disrespect. The CBT is working that I have been referred to and the anti depressants are getting me back on track. 'Husband' is at HMP so hopefully cannot get hold of any. Then again I know you can get hold of everything in there for a price.

Life has changed, I'm not free because of the mess he has left me in financially because of the crimes he has been imprisoned for but I am progressing and I am now hating the person he has become.

replying to lindey

It seems like the lovely life they have had is not as good as the cocaine they put up their nose. We cannot compete. No amount of talking and threatening to leave will make a difference. They will lie and manipulate to get hold of that coke.

I've never seen my 'husband' angry in my presence before the coke took hold of his personality. I used to look forward to seeing my 'husband' return from work and used to live for the weekends. After, believe me I dreaded every moment.

I was unhappy, anxious, not eating and working all week too. But they don't care anymore. Only about their next line.

I have started looking after myself now physically and mentally because I am of no use being a pathetic mess. I need to respect myself.

I hope life becomes easier for you. Stay strong.

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