I’m sorry you are going through this. And what I am about to say will not make it better but you need to listen to what I am telling you.
These men will not change. They will suck the life out of you, gaslight you and leave your head spinning with guilt and shame. But you are not to blame. They are, every selfish line they snort or smoke is disrespecting your needs on a basic level.
Hear me when I tell you that it is impossible to have a relationship with an addict. The lies the manipulation. It will not end.
If you can’t do it for yourselves do it for your children. It’s five years ago this year my addict ex husband left me! Accusing me of an affair I never had but the drugs will warp their minds.
I went on a journey to hell and back. I took the man back when he begged and 6 months later he punished me for it with further lies drugs and blame.
You pack your bags and leave. My sons suffered untold amounts. Nearly five years later and guess what? He has given up! Even cigarettes!
Well you may say well done him, isn’t this great! But no, he’s a bigger c@nt then when he wax using. Buying a flat up my road despite me divorcing him and trying to use my boys as some pawns in a game.
Do you want to watch your 15 year old son have to throw his dad out of the house for trying to start on you. It will break your heart! The sense of injustice at it all will never leave me. But just in case you think that their giving up will bring the dream back again, I caution you not to be fooled. Cocaine ruins the brain Pernanently! That lovely man you met all those years ago, fell in love with, had fun with, made dreams with us dead. Forever dead. There is no coming back. There is only you moving forward.
I spent 3 years of self blaming tears and despair. It was only when I met a truly good man that I realised his manipulative and abusive my ex husband was.
Please do not think about it any longer. You have a life to live and you deserve to live it. Pack your bags and leave them now. xxxx