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Is it me or a genuine problem

I feel a bit like things are the wrong way round because it's my wife that I think has a problem though she insists it's me being awkward about her drinking.

She drinks heavily 3 or 4 times a week often becoming aggressive and incoherent she often falls and has sustained several injuries including a broken pelvis, collarbone, wrist and hand in separate falls, plus cuts and bruises beyond number . She is often drunk by lunchtime and nearly always hiding it, she buys cartons of wine and pours it into pop bottles then shreds the carton and lies about it even when obviously drunk.

She insists that she dosent have a problem and only hides it because I don't agree with her drinking. This has been going on for years and I am at my wits end and running out of ideas to make her see she is injuring herself and our relationship and that she needs help. Come to think of it so do I

replying to Martystain

Absolutely she has a problem. If something is negatively affecting your life and you continue to do it you’re addicted. Drinking heavily 4 times a week and hiding it, is a tell tell sign. She has a problem.

You’ve come to the right place though, welcome - we all chat and support eachother.

What have you said to her? What does she say when you say she’s an alcoholic?

replying to Martystain

Hi,

Thanks for sharing your story. I agree with Georgia that your wife definitely has a problem and needs support. But you deserve support too because what you are dealing with is so difficult!

If you would like to contact us at The Icarus Trust we could put you in touch with one of our experienced trained people who would listen and try to help. We are a charity that provides support to people like yourself who are affected by a friend or family member's addiction.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org

I hope that you can get some support for yourself.

Good luck with everything.

replying to Martystain

My sister is the same. She used to say she hadn't got a problem just liked a drink. But if she didn't have a problem we did. She doesn't get hung over and drives everywhere.

She argues, falls out with friends and family. She fell down the stairs and badly injured her heel. She has even physically fought with us and after she doesn't know what she's done or the hurtful things she says. She is pure evil on the drink which is every day. She has been hospitalised for stomach pains and the doctors after tests say she's fine. Talked to a councillor she said she was fine and hadn't got a problem.

Well she has, just last week she revealed to her husband that she was drinking eighteen cans a day. Eighteen cans......no wonder she threatened to punch me on the jaw and called my other sister fat. We didn't speak to her for a long while and refused to answer her calls this made her think.

Her husband is now cutting her down with the cans after a heart to heart telling her that the situation couldn't go on, falling out with folk and the health issues that she will eventually have and she agreed. He has had it bad for years and she also has a young son. Hopefully she will not hide the alcohol and drink behind his back like she has done before.

1 reply

replying to Martystain

Thank you for your posts, it is unbelievably helpful to discover that I am not the only one in this position your comments all strike a chord especially the aggression, and yep I have been punched more than once, the temptation to retaliate was huge but thankfully I resisted. The hard part is that when she is not drinking she still the happy loving woman I married.

My main concern is and always has been her well being however she is now 65 and still drinking and I have serious concerns for her health she has visibly aged over the last couple of years thank you for the info re the Icarus trust it may worth a try as someone is definitely flying too near the sun

replying to Martystain

We have retaliated on numerous occasions, I suppose its because we are sisters. She says that she loves us and wouldn't let anyone else hurt us but she can.

With the excessive drinking she has aged visibly. She looks older than me and I am twelve years her senior.

She hasn't attempted to call us so hopefully she is still being cut down. Otherwise she will crash and burn alone.

I might seem heartless but I do have problems in my own life so I have to put her on the backburner now and let others take control.

You are definitely not alone.

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