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replying to Danman83

Hope you are still staying on the straight and narrow Danman. There are a few positives about my son. He apparently worked last week. He has also started seeing his daughter. His gf and daughter came to our house today to pick up her xbox and games to play with her dad. He also sent a message to his grandma last week to wish her a happy birthday. We did have to remind him a few times. He has responded to a couple of texts off my husband about working and picked up some of his tools. I can also see that he has opened all the previous messages sent via whatsap. I text him last night as I found one of his shirts and started hugging it and crying. He didn't respond. I was hoping he would get in touch. This all sounds positive but we still have no idea whether he is still using.

replying to Danman83

Yes i am thanks..it does sound a lot positive. It seems like he is trying. I dont get why he cant reply to u tho.

1 reply

replying to Danman83

Hey Dan, was thinking about you last night actually - wondering how you were getting on.

What happened then? how did you end up running into coke?

whats the story, just get back on track - dont beat yourself up too much.

A part of recovery is relapsing - remember that, you will get there, how come she made you go out? bless ya

xx

replying to Danman83

Well i cant remem telling you.. but i asked my gf for help and just stay intogether till our hol in july.. and help me not get coke for 6 month.. just see how i am then..

Then 8 weeks clean she said.. we have been invited to her mates dads party.. i said no.. i dont want use.. she said u be fine.. and i didnt want stay in on my own.. so i went, got drunk and got some coke..

Ive never been so pissed off in my life.. part of me blames her and part me.. but that was like 2 3 week ago now. And ive not used since and ive no intentions to.

Its just because i was out. I was down for a whole week after that

Just 1 little favour i asked and she couldnt do it lol. She made me stay in when she was preggers for 9 month! But when i need the help. Nooo.

But it will wind me up knowing shes out and im stuck in.. but ill have accept it.

How you doing anyway? Hows your bf?

1 reply

replying to Danman83

Hi Danman, just checking up on how you are doing. Hope you are still back on track after your little relapse. What have you been up to?

Still no contact from my son. Text him to say I can only think there is one reason he has not been in touch and how much he is hurting me - nothing back. He is back seeing his kids but I still think he is using. That's the only reason I can think of that he hasn't been in touch with me. I don't want them to get hurt again if he lets them down, which is what usually happens. It really gets to me when we see his exe and her husband and family enjoying going out for a meal and doing normal things. Don't get me wrong I am so pleased for them and our grand-daughter. Or when I see his friends in Morrisons again just shopping with their families. I just want my son to be doing normal things and at this moment in time I don't think he ever will. I just don't know how this is all going to end and it's all out of my control.

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replying to DNAnon

I am sorry to hear that you haven't had contact yet DNAnon.

I'm hoping Danman is doing well still too.

Do you think when you text your son that he puts up a barrier because he feels you are accusing him of taking cocaine (which he has been doing of course)? Mums are so protective and want to make everything right.

It's good to hear that he is now seeing his kids and hopefully soon he will be able to resume a normal relationship with you too. It's awful to say but we cannot control what happens when or if he lets his kids down. My heart goes out to you. But you yourself are not letting them down. I hope you get what you desire, a happy son with a normal, happy life.

Keep well.

replying to Danman83

Hi DNanon,

I'm sorry that your son is still not in touch with you - that must be very hurtful and upsetting.

If you feel it would be helpful to talk with one of our experienced and trained people please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We support people going through similar issues to yourself.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org

All the best to you.

1 reply

replying to Hox

Hi Hox, well I got a text off my son on Sunday wishing me a Happy Mother's Day and that he had got me a card. I text him back to say how pleased I was to hear from him and could he bring the card next week on Mother's Day. He said he would and that he thinks of me every day, I replied me to about him. I then cried for a while. Whether I will see him or the card on Sunday I don't know but I suppose it is a start and just to have something rather than nothing feels so good.

How are things going with you and your situation?

Thanks for your thoughts, much appreciated.

replying to DNAnon

DNAnon that's brilliant news, it is a start in the right direction. He is thinking about you even though he's not in touch as often as you would like. I'm so glad that he has responded to you and has made you feel good.

Husband is still in touch but only when he wants something from the house. He says he will do things for me then doesn't. Still says he doesn't love me but then says he misses the little things we used to do together and that he's upset too. I cannot understand him I have to ignore him as it hurts too much. He has now admitted to me that the court case has been getting to him and that he has been thinking of all things negative.

I'm trying to keep strong but I do have my better days and the really bad.

Keep you chin up. Lets hope for better days for all of us.

replying to Danman83

Sorry ive not replied.. ive just been mad busy and i dont want to be near stuff that reminds me off coke lol.. but yes im still doing good. Just that 1 lapse from 5 week.

Im having bad dreams every day using it and it really is bothering me alot. But its only a dream.

I really dont know what to say about your son.. i dont get how he cant just text you.

Why would you do that to your mum? Just keep being there for him i guess, then he cant truck it in your face.

Id say give him my num if he needs some help. But i think that would make it worse.

I hope he contacts you on mothers day. Let me know if he does. X

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