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replying to Janette132

Yea I know that feeling well. I have a really good friend who listens and gives me sound advice but I know she wouldn't judge my decision to stand by him.

I hate everything about this situation. How can it mean so much to them that they risk everything?

You absolutely need to look after yourself x

replying to Janette132

You need to look after yourself.

It's not easy giving it up and it will be a long haul. But he really has to want to stop and not lie to you just to keep a roof over his head whilst you are providing his creature comforts. You work hard and you can't risk your job constantly worrying about him. I'm the same I constantly worry at work, luckily I have an understanding boss and have worked there a long time.

Looking back now I have picked up my husband after his all night drinking and coke sessions. This is at the weekend though when I don't work but it's still the same I have run around after him.

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replying to Janette132

Well since I have been spending more time with my partner his addiction has come more to light, he told me he was addicted to codine but he got a heroine addiction, he got £500 pound from his dole money on a Friday and by the Monday he was asking me to lend him money....

I have chosen to stick by him but I’ve told him if he doesn’t stop using he gonna lose me and he on his own x

replying to Janette132

Hi there Jeanette I hope you’re bearing up, my friends have also told me to run for the hills but your right it doesn’t help, when you’re in love with an addict it’s hard to walk away, because you’re scared of the consequences for yourself and your partner but the truth is if you stay it might not get better but you hold on to the fact it might, and the person you fell in love with will come back - it’s tough and there’s no easy option, you need to do what’s best for you, no one else, and keep strong- lou

replying to Janette132

Janette132.. the sad sad truth is that drug addiction is so complicated, it becomes before everything. If i was 6 months in and found out about my BFs addiction i wouldve run a mile.

All i would say is, dont be naive, understand that youll never be able to force him to get help, he really needs to want it.

Addiction is a disease and it must be so hard for them to give up and stop - i can see that people tell you to leave him but with my experiences and the hell i have been put through first hand - my advice would be absolutely walk away now, you will have this for years to come.

Trust goes, you will live a life of anxiety and let downs.

good luck with it all whatever you decide to do, i hope he seeks help asap.

replying to Janette132

you telling him if he doesnt stop he will lose you wont make him stop - believe me i have been there.

replying to Janette132

Well he going the doctors on the 14 March about his addiction and to see what they can offer, I’ve told him he needs to stop this addiction or I’m walking because, 1, I’m not use to being around drug addicts and I don’t know anything about drugs, 2, I’m working full time and I seem to be giving you money for your addiction which I can’t really afford, 3, he not working and living in my house without any money from you at all.

4, your using in my house which I hate.

He got til Thursday to make a change or even see to make a change or it’s over .....

He has gave me his bank card which his dole money goes in and told me too have it when it goes in the bank but we will see .....

I’ll keep this updated to see if there is anything positive changes x

Thanks for listening x

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replying to Janette132

Please do, you need support for your situation and it’s hard to find, but don’t feel like your on your own because you’re not there are many of us in the same situation, Georgia on here has much more experience of the situation than me and she has helped me- she told me to leave my ex and tbh it was for the best, it’s tough but worth it as my situation was just getting worse he’s promised everything but no actions have backed it up and tough love was needed- you’ll see that with your partner in the end but it takes a while and a lot of heartache to get there, he might come good but the odds are not great- keep strong and take care. Lou x

replying to Janette132

Well quick update ...

We are at the doctors together to get this drug issue sorted out for our relationship x he got shouted in and then last minute asked me to wait outside x

Anyway ....

it’s all now or never coz if he doesn’t seriously do this we are definitely over and he knows this x

Soooo let’s see x my fingers and toes are crossed ???? x

replying to Louise1974

Louise - how are you doing? how did things turn out in the end?

The sad thing is, I read through these and really feel for you all - they need more support groups for people living with addicts etc as its so impossible to understand and I have felt so lost and confused at times - as most of the people are that have just realised their loved one has an addiction.

I thought me screaming and shouting and threatening to walk would stop the cocaine use, but the sad truth is, he can have the strongest possible love for you but that will come first and its devastating. In the end you realise this too.

My mum said to me walk and told me time and time again - this will happen again and it did and i learnt the hard way.

Janette as you said yourself you know nothing about drugs - so you probably wont realise now but it might be worth reading up on addiction and stuff and go through some of these forums and peoples experiences.

I am glad he has gone to the doctors to seek help - the thing is, you need to stop giving him money - as itll be for drugs.

I wish there was a miracle cure, honestly I do.. i have watched hours and hours of youtube videos on this and i still dont get it, its so sad.

Let us know how you get on in the next couple of weeks but all I will say Janette is that addicts lie and manipulate to feed their addiciton, he will start an argument for nothing so he can go out and use - so bare that in mind, it absolutely comes before anything and everything, kids, marriages etc - dont be fooled and dont be naive. This is from personal experience, dont do what i did.. you want to believe it and its hard, stay strong and remove yourself from the situation and come on here for advice, get some drug testing kits from Amazon and test him.


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