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Fiancé addicted to cocaine

At the end of my straw now. Now I know I have to leave him am so depressed and cry most weekends cos my fiancé sits and before my eyes he changes the way he looks his speech and I’ve just put kids to bed to enjoy our weekend but end up sitting myself he’s in and out toilet acts as if am not there totally different person to the man I love .

replying to Michellec20

HI Michelle,

When did you find out he was addicted to cocaine?

Ah its such a horrendous situation to be in - cocaine completely changes the person you fell in love with, its so hurtful isnt it. He wont be doing this though to hurt you - it completely grips hold of them.

have you had a conversation with him about it?

replying to Michellec20

He’s been doing it for years when I got with him 6 month in I knew he was taking it but un aware he had a problem . He holds down a job and is a nice guy when this isn’t affecting him or us with wages disappearing. We have been together 4 year and has done all the time . We talk about it he doesn’t like it he went to meetings for 5-6 weeks there and was doing well then stoped and when straight back to doing it again my family have banned him from there house as he got wasted at mums birthday at Hogmanay and kids where there with us gutted ????

replying to Michellec20

Its so hard to try and tell you what to do as the truth is, nothing you do will make him stop. He has to want help. I have been through this, I have cried, threatened and actually left mine but he still continued. His mental health i think made him realise that his cocaine use needed to stop.

He goes to addiction counselling which is really helpful but £60 an hour.. he really wants it and hasnt relapsed in 7 weeks now which is the longest.

I feel for you as kids are involved - how old are you if you dont mind me asking?

my bf completely changed when he took cocaine, like a different person - he said horrible things and was emotionless - the stuff is poison its the worst.

Does he suffer with mental health issues at all? anxiety? depression? where did this all stem from? my bf started as he went through hell and back with his ex wife and he lost his kids etc. So was self medicating.

You can always come on here for advice, lots of us are the people who love the addict and there are also addicts.. so you get both sides of advice x

replying to Michellec20

I really don’t know where it steamed from I have thoughts but not sure I think his mum was a alky years back his mum and sister always cover for him. Am 36 he’s 38 . Where does he go for counciling? £60 would be well worth it to save him and my family he I feel he does want to stop 6 wks longest he has stoped he works so hard 6 days a week it’s horrible am drowning in it now tho and it’s not good for me to be depressed when I’ve got the kids to think of xx hope your man beats this shit x

replying to Michellec20

what area are you in? go onto google and type in "addiction counselling" but he really needs to be dedicated. Does he want to stop? has he said this to you?

God its a living nightmare isnt it.. I cant imagine how hard it must be to keep it together with kids as well.

Once they do a bit, its like there is no going back - he completely changes its so sad.

how much is he doing, do you know?xx

1 reply

replying to Michellec20

Am not sure I’ve never took shit and don’t even know how much it costs but I would say on the weekend he spends about £150 on it . Am glasgow . Yes it’s really hard especially when u are mad in love and have kids and see the good person when not on it to break Away but I think that’s what it will take for him to wake up yes he’s told me few times he wants to stop x

replying to Michellec20

Hi Michelle. I hope you have got through to your husband and he is trying to stop the cocaine usage.

I know what you mean when you say they change. My husband has changed completely. He doesn't have a glimmer of the person he used to be and he cannot feel the love for me that he used to and he doesn't know why. Luckily I do, cocaine came before me. My husband was the greatest before the coke took hold.

I hope he gets help with his addiction soon as I wouldn't want another loving family destroyed by cocaine.

I wish you well.

replying to Michellec20

I see - does he use in the week?

its like the person you marry dies, its hard to accept. I dont get how the stuff makes people like that?! it confuses the hell out of me. Its scary.

My partner is SO selfish when he does it, nothing and no one comes before. Its devastating for the person having to deal with the backlash. I have been in tears breaking my heart and hes gone out and done it 2 minutes after saying sorry.

Hope youre ok anyway and things are looking a bit better.

£150 worth i think is about 2 grams i dont know? still a lot, i guess it doesnt matter how much even if its a line its an addiction - he needs to stop and seek help.

The meetings didnt work for my other half they actually made him worse i think, cos when he left the meetings he would disappear.

I will never understand really what it does to the human body but it is fucking awful!! evil stuff...


2 replies

replying to Michellec20

So Wednesday night and he’s back to it again in and out toilet lodging on he’s sleeping am sitting downstairs crying kids in bed this is life for me I need strength to walk away. Texted his family saying I need help with him he’s back up to same shit guess what the ignored me and will pretend everything’s fine tomo and still fine with him I blame them for letting him be like this for so long sorry people am down and upset x

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