: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

2 replies

Any advice at all

Ohh I don’t really know where to start. I am a looking for some advice on how I can support my sister who is married to an addict. She is on the verge of having a breakdown and I live 2.5 hours away with a new baby so really limited with how often I can visit.

Her husband relapsed when she got pregnant. She now has a little bit of 5 months who she is supporting alone. She kicked her partner out just after the baby was born having found drugs in his clothes and not wanting them around the baby. He would also disappear for days without getting in touch and just getting on it. She has recently just lost her job and so that’s another added stress.

She still loved her partner so much and is desperate for him to go and get help. He has tried some groups but is not committed and just fails to go. When he gets paid he will get back on it.

She works 60hrs a week and then looks after her little one so feels isolated and alone as stuck in while her husband is out on it and was looking to book a lads holiday away.

I call her and message her daily to check she’s ok and to provide as much support as possible. I know her husband has an illness and walking away just isn’t that easy especially when a kid is involved but I don’t know what else I can do to help her. It breaks my heart having her on the phone in tears when he is sending abusive messages or hasn’t turned up on a planned visit.

Any help at all on how I can support her through this time and any support I could give her would be great. Also if anyone knows of any support group that allows you to take children please let me know

Thank you x

replying to Absh01

Hi, sorry your sister is in this situation. I think there are links to support on the home page for this website. Usually local councils have outreach services for families of addicts, try under the carers section. My local council has one called CASH. There will be something close to her it's just finding it that's a bit tricky!

If you are in Lancashire it will be CASH. Google it and it will at least give you an idea of what to look for.

In the meantime your sister needs to step away from her partners chaos. She doesn't need the stress. I've been in her position a few times, including with a new baby and no job. I'm still in that position but I have taken a step back. I'm glad she has you, you sound like a fab support. I'm on here everyday if you need anymore help xx

replying to Absh01

I think this is good advice for your sister about stepping away. She needs to concentrate on herself and her new baby. Your support is great and it sounds like she needs it. Apart from the support groups that should be available is there anyone else near to her she can get support from ie other family, friends . . .

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