As I write this, my husband is staying at a friend's house following his latest relapse - one of many.
He is what I suppose you'd call 'high-functioning', having been able to hold down a successful career for many years in spite of being a problem drinker since he was a teenager. He is intelligent and a skilled liar/manipulator, which is perhaps why it took so long for us both to realise this was a serious problem.
Since accepting he was an alcoholic nearly 3 years ago, he's had two periods in residential rehab, and has been in AA ever since. He goes through regular periods of being 'stable' followed by relapse. When he's relapsed he's retreated from the people who are around to support him and several times has put himself in some very dangerous situations, causing serious concern for us, his family and friends. T
This latest period of sobriety was the longest he'd ever managed (8 months), but he relapsed after finding himself in the risky situation of needing to travel for work and being alone. He didn't tell anyone straight away to get help, lied about being OK to everyone and went on a binge for several days until he couldn't hide it anymore when he was due to return from his trip.
I've tried to support him as I know he is ill, but I'm exhausted by the constant disruption to our lives and worry caused, as well as being extremely upset by the regular deception which makes it hard to trust him in general.
I don't want to lose him and the life we've built together, but there is a lot of resentment and anger - especially as I've made many compromises in my life because of his issues, and he's had so much more support than I've had myself.
That's why I've searched out this support for myself. I don't expect anyone to have any easy answers for me, but I'd like to not feel alone any more facing these problems.