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Alcoholic BF behaviour is this abusive?

I’m so confused about my BF behaviour he’s like jackle and Hyde through the night, one minute he’s kind and sharing lovely stories the next he finds my family, work or friends at fault and batters me with nasty words about them.

He can be so cruel sometimes, he’ll say things like about we should go on a nice holiday, get married etc. Then literally two mins later he’s vile saying he’s so close to finishing the relationship and walking away something to do with my family actions which doesn’t impact him or involve him at all.

He withholds affection, he tells me not to talk to him. Then when I leave the room or go to bed he finds me and makes a comment or name calls and walks out.

He’s not violent but he has a vile temper! Which shoots 0-60 in seconds. Screams in my face.

When he’s sober he says I should pay no attention to what he says when he’s drunk.....but he can be so vile that it’s hard not to.

Is this just Alcoholic behaviour or is this abuse?

Welcome any comments on copying strategies

replying to Gil

Hi Gil, it sounds like it is verbal abuse caused by alcohol and it's not acceptable. When he is sober I would be telling him all the vile things he has said and how much stress it is causing you. Does he know he has a problem? Do you think he wants to do something about it? You need to have a serious discussion with him when he is sober. Good luck.

replying to Gil

I agree with the above reply. It sounds like he needs to get help for his drinking and that there are underlying issues. You can support him if you want to but you shouldn’t have to put up with being mentally and verbally abused by him or anybody. Take care

replying to Gil

It is the behaviour of an alcoholic.

My sister is the same abusive and violent when she is under the influence of drink. But this is the majority of the time. It has been hard to handle over the years and her husband has taken the brunt of it. She cannot remember some of the things she says and does.

Nothing changes until they realise they are an alcoholic and want to do everything not just something about it.

Take care of yourself.

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