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Lapsed after 6 week on coke again :(

So basically i lapsed on coke after 6 week. Normally i drink then get coke. But this time i didnt drink but bumped in to a friend who sold it. And then i asked him for some.. god knows why.. when i had it in my hand i.thought about trucking it away. I feel so pissed off with myself.

Ive been neglecting sites and apps like this, thinking im ok now, but im not. So ill have to come on these sites everyday now looking for and helping with support.

Absolutely gutted with myself:(

replying to Danman83

Daman, don't be too hard on yourself.

You have been doing really well and you know it's not going to be easy. You know yourself that you have deleted social media and don't socialise with these people. Now you know that temptation is going to be there when you bump into friends, you can do something about it.

Don't neglect us we are here to support you and we like to hear how you are getting on, plus you can help so many people on here too with your experiences.

Go easy on yourself.

1 reply

replying to Danman83

Thanks hox. It means a lot. I went back on social media. Big mistake.. so this time ive totally deleted it. Its 3 month exactly till my hol. So im targeting my self to that. And ill be on this site everyday and others helping myself.

I told my gf. She wasnt happy 1 bit and i dont blame her. But ill just have to start again.

replying to Danman83

A lesson has been learnt and it will make you wiser. It's not starting again it's a journey. GF's bound to be mad but she knows the temptations are out there only too well. Onward and upward Danman.

replying to Danman83

Hey temptation is always there. But what you’ve done is realised it and addressing it and that makes you a stronger person!

replying to Danman83

Hi Danman, thought you had gone quiet. Again though you seem to hate the stuff soon afterwards and annoyed with yourself. You don't go on a binge which is good and come to your senses immediately after. It must be really hard as even though you have deleted all bad contacts etc you will always bump into someone somewhere to tempt you. You are still doing really well and just need to focus on all the positive things you have done whilst you have been clean.

I didn't get my Mother's Day card or text after all. I was so upset. My husband had taken our son out for lunch last Friday but didn't talk about anything that would cause friction. I text my son last Sunday and asked if I could pick him up and take him for a ride but got no response. He seems to be focussing on seeing his kids which I suppose is good. I haven't contacted him since and don't think I will anymore. I think he must still be taking cocaine and feels guilty and that's why he doesn't want to see or speak to me.

Glad you back on track and keeping focussed for your hol in 3 months time. Even when you stay clean it would be nice for you to share as it gives others hope for their partners/family members. Your tips and advice are invaluable on this site.

replying to Danman83

Thanks dnanon..thats exactly how i am..can go with out and just have it the once and then something grabs me to get it. I had it in my hand thinking... do i really want this? ..

Hes a bit out of order not speaking to you on mothers day.. how come he lets his dad take him out for a meal and doesnt respond to you? U dont need to answer that if its something personal. Its just a bit strange.

But i am back on here and staying more focused till my hol. Hope your ok.

replying to Danman83

Hiya, it won’t let me reply on my post to your reply but I just wanted to say, don’t be too hard on yourself for a relapse. You’ve got this. You recognise the trigger and you didn’t go on a binge. Stick with it. You’re going to do it :)

replying to Danman83

His dad will keep chipping away and sending him texts. Eventually he seems to get through to him but he didn't ask any awkward questions when he took him out. At least I was able to ask how he looked etc, although my husband said he didn't want to really look at him. We are both scared of saying or doing anything that will stop the contact. Both me and his dad have supported our son together and we are supporting each other continually. Like I said before my son sent me a text the week before Mother's Day sending his love and said he had a card but didn't do the same on the actual day. This is why I think he is still taking cocaine as he probably had some on the Saturday and so was on a come down the next day. I really don't know I think my son was taking it not just at weekends as eventually he couldn't hold down a job and still isn't working.

It was lovely to get the text from him even a week early but there hasn't been anything since. Anyway glad you are back on board ☺️

replying to Danman83

I think your probably right.. he probably did want to see you on mother days. But he could of been coming down off coke and you might of questioned him. Thats just a thought tho. Hopefully he will come round soon. If he is using. He might have to hit rock bottom before he ask for help.

And cheers :)

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