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Husband cocaine addict

Hi for many years my husband has been a cocaine addict. We have been together for 18 years and have two lovely daughters, my husbband has always been the most caring husband and a great father, as time goes on our whole life has been turned upside down, we had our first child very young and then a mortgage , he would do it occasionally and it’s got a whole lot worse! Now I can’t even trust him to go to the shop! I have my own business and has grown rapidly and unfortunately this has made him far worse and it got so bad it’s every other day, he works along side me and has let clients down, always late and is causing me great embarrassment, I’ve tried to defend him on many occasions but it’s all to much , he now doesn’t work and spends the money quicker than we’re earning it ! My daughters are also picking up on this behaviour as he’s always on a come down , he blames everyone else for everything and still think he doesn’t have a problem. He now works rarely does nothing indoors to help, calls me all day , has paranoia and wont accept he has a serious issue, he has racked up loads of debt I’ve been left paying including our mortgage, for years I’ve been carrying on like this but his negativity brings me down and is unbearable, he’s not the person I married in fact he’s a utter physco!! I’ve tried everything! Apart from cocaine he would actually be the ideal husband This drug has broke him Down bit by bit, the thing is I am now feeling low and have anxiety most of the time with sick and worry of trying to cope, any advice would be appreciated

Tia

replying to Peacock85

I am in the same position as are many of us on here. This is a condensed version of my story on here.

Happily married to my soul mate for fourteen years. He occasionally sniffed cocaine, a few times a year recreationally at a push.

Then came his court case which eventually he couldn't cope with. So he went out and got drunk and was on the coke regularly. By this I mean three times a week. This changed him into a person I don't recognise anymore, a monster. He didn't think he had a problem. Then again he didn't, I did with his sniffing.

'Husband' is now in prison. I've now found out he had not been going to work and had taken every penny out of his business account and had debt with credit cards.

Looks like he has upped the sniffing or rubbing to daily. I have been waiting for my lovely husband to return for eleven months now but cocaine changes a person. It has also changed me and I don't partake. I'm still suffering anxiety and I feel sick every morning when waking. I have constant panic attacks.

Nothing will change until he realises he has a problem and wants to do something about it. No amount of begging or talking to him will make a difference, don't waste your breath. Until he does, try to take care of yourself. Take care of your business without him and split your finances. It's not being horrible it's being careful. When he comes to his senses you will still have a roof over your heads and a business.

I wish you both well.

replying to Peacock85

Hi,

Thanks for posting. I'm sorry to see how anxious and sick your husband's cocaine habit is making you feel. This is so hard for you and, if you would like some help please contact us at The Icarus Trust.

We are a charity that supports people who are having to deal with a partner's addiction. We offer a service called 'Family Friends' who are experience and trained volunteers. If you get in touch with us, one of them would talk with and may be able to help you go forward.

You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website www.icarustrust.org

Very best wishes.

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