I have shared some of my story in the past but i am really struggling it the thought of:
Did my partner really fall out of love with me and it was nothing to do with cocaine?
Did my partner cheat on me and has he left me for another woman?
To recap, my partner came home one night after a boozy weekend away and told me he did not love me anymore and was leaving me. A week later he disclosed that he had been using cocaine for the last 7 years and had been taking it excessively every weekend and during the week was taking tramadol, amitriptyline, and diazpam for the last past 3/4 years. He gave me several reason for falling out of love, which was given over different periods such as we drifted apart, you only worked part time because you were studying for your degree, I was under a lot pressure at work and you did not see it (although it was his boss and work mates he was taking cocaine with), i thought you did not love me anymore and i know i have f*@ked it.
This has all been going on since last sept and i have tried to help him numerous ways but he wanted to do it by himself as he did not want professional help. He asked to come back and for me to help him and since then he has been back and left again on 6 different occasions. He came home after a night out with make up all over his top, his face turned white when i approached him about it, he left house and said he had to wash his car. I asked him to come back and speak about it, he said he was getting photo's taken with a group of women next to him as he was out with mates supposedly, however he would not show me his phone the night before. After i challenged him he said this is not working, i do not love you i only came back for kids. He later admitted the next day that he was "hammering cocaine again" but stated once again he only came back to me for kids and not me and said he was sorry for treating me this way.
Since then i have stopped all contact with kids because he is using again and we are going head to head with lawyers and he wants almost joint custody. He has also sent me messages saying he is reporting me to social work as i am an unfit mother saying i drink every night. Yes where do i find the time to do that when i am the one with the kids all the time, he went out every weekend doing what he was doing while i was running a house, looking after kids, working part time and studying for a degree!
Looking back i did notice around a year ago that he was very cold with me, no sex and would start an argument for no reason. He also went out all the time and would sit on sofa and watch me doing all the man jobs about the house with an electric drill. He even told me one time that he resented me so much that he wanted to pick up the coffee table and smash it over my head.
I am so heart broken and so confused as this was not the person i met and had children with!
He told me he wants best of both worlds meaning see the kids and take coke, when i asked him if he just wanted to be friends with me he said no, so i said well you said you don't love me so you don't want me as your partner or lover and he said i don't know. Then afterwards said he just wants his kids again. He has played with my emotions the whole time since last sept telling me he loves me then telling me he doesn't. I don't know what to believe anymore!
One minute he tells me to move on and forget about him, the next minute he pulls me up for talking to another guy who is only a friend and accuses me of flirting with him because i liked his fb pic, the next minute he tells me he can't go me because i am asking him too many questions??!!!
Is this honestly similar to what other women have been through? And for those men out there who have an addiction with coke, is this the behaviors that an addict would display? Have any of you men treated your partners in this way as he is accussing me of playing the victim card!