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Desperate Times

My husband is a functioning alcoholic. He also takes prescription co-codamol and amitriptyline.

I really don’t know what to do now. I’ve told him so many times in so many ways I can’t live like this anymore. I feel like I’m living a lie. Nobody else knows. I feel I can’t confide in anyone as they are all too close.

I am at breaking point. I want to just go to sleep and not wake up so I don’t have to think about it or deal with it anymore.

1 reply

replying to MaMA12

The Icarus trust I think can support you. I have emailed them and someone is getting back to me about my husbands drinking problem. I know how it feels to feel like you are alone and you don’t want to share any of the burden with anyone. Maybe try talking to someone about how YOU feel. Focus on how you are feeling now. I hope this helps. This chat service has helped me with my own husbands problem. Take care

replying to MaMA12

I’ve rung Samaritans a few times just so I could talk to someone. They can’t advise just listen.

I will look up Icarus now.

Many thanks and hope you’re ok too

replying to Helen300

Thank you. I am in same position. I have added complication of being in recovery myself of 3 years. I am frustrated that he is in denial despite drinking 2-3 bottles of wine a day

I just cannot convince him to take action since I did get him to attend an NHS recommended centre that were not at all helpful.

1 reply

replying to MaMA12

I feel the same can’t they see how they are damaging us I ask myself is it my fault? Will it get better?

1 reply

replying to MaMA12

Hi Helen/psighco

I am a nurse so I know the damage he’s doing. I have got numbers for him to call. I’ve told him I can’t do it for him but I will support him through it. I’ve also told him I don’t know how I’m going to feel about him afterwards.

We were soulmates. I’ve never felt so distant from him in all our time together. l just feel numb to it all now.

It’s nice to know I’m not alone x

replying to MaMA12

That is so sad I can relate. I’ve been with him over 20 years. Drink has destroyed trust due to lies he tells. I know I mean a lot to him but he would let me go before he gave it up I’m sure. He keeps saying he will sort it out. Sad he genuinely still believes he can. I dont understand how he can’t realise that he can’t. He’s failed so many times.

Glad I’ve found I’m not alone too. I’ve contacted icuris Thanks for posting

1 reply

replying to MaMA12

Hi girls xx

I know. We’ve been together for 23 years. Known each other for nearly 30 years. He’s my brothers best friend! My brother doesn’t even know what’s going on as he lives miles away & they only speak on the phone.

Friday night I came home and found him wasted again. He had work Saturday so I just left him to it. When he got home Saturday he just said sorry. I didn’t say anything because I do not know what to say anymore. I couldn’t even look at him.

Spent the weekend acting normal like nothing happened. I can’t live like this anymore but I don’t know what else to do that won’t cause upheaval for me.

replying to MaMA12

This is it exactly! What to do next. If I leave I put myself in threat and could end up losing everything. He will not leave as he doesn’t recognise a significant problem. We muddle on. I swing from enabling him to threats and arguing. It’s like ground hog day. He will eventually make himself ill. Is that what I’m waiting for?

replying to MaMA12

I work with patients that have alcohol related issues. I know exactly the damage he’s causing. Still he drinks even though he’s admitted he has a problem. I thought that was half the battle?!

Used to go to work to escape but I’ve had some problems of my own to deal with there too. Some days I am scared I will just break down at work which I really can’t do that’s when I call the Samaritans and just vent.

I don’t know what the answer is but you can always talk to me if it helps

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