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Cocaine alcoholic lying addict husband

Hi guys just wanted some support and advice from you . What do you think I should do with ?

My husband who Iv been married to 2years now and been with 6 years in total is an cocaine addict .. I didn’t know anything about this until 13 months ago . We moved in together 2years ago with my two sons from my previous marriage and it has been hell since . My husband becomes very violent and abusive and we are constantly arguing due to financial difficulties.

I was doing fine on my own until he arrived in my house . I have got myself in to a lot of debt because of him .. he got me in his charms and sweet words to pawn in my assets to survive and even take loans out on my name for him as he is blacklisted and jobless. I work full time and pay all the bills myself but recently his drug addiction has got worse. He stays out late even days with his friends sniffing cocaine and drinking. Now I’m getting evicted from my house due to not keeping up with my mortgage payments . My health is getting worse and worse because of his addiction . He is demanding money constantly and manipulating me and making me feel guilty for not supporting him in his hard times . I stuck my him because I thought I could help him but now I’m losing the will to live . Can you please advise me if I should leave him now or give him another chance?

replying to Rani123

Has anyone else been In a situation like this in a relationship with an addict

1 reply

replying to Rani123

Hi Rani

Thanks for sharing your story and we're very sorry to hear of your situation with your husband which sounds really difficult.

We're really sorry to hear that your husband can be violent towards you. For information and advice you can phone the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247. This line is free and confidential and is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

If you ever feel you are in immediate danger you should ring 999.

It's important that families affected by someone else's substance use receive support in their own right. You can find a map of support groups for families affected by someone else's substance use on our website: https://adfam.org.uk/help-for-families/finding-support/search-for-local-support

Please do get in touch with Adfam at admin@adfam.org.uk if you had any further questions about other services you might be able to contact.

Best wishes,

Adfam

1 reply

replying to Rani123

hi rani,

yes and the answer to your question is leave him, he wont change..

he will promise you he will but if its got to the stage where he is in denial and abusive - walk or youll continue this awful cycle.

go get mentally well and sort yourself out, honestly that man you married is gone - drugs take away all of the good things about a person and hes obviously in so deep.

walk away, let him get on with it, dont let this ruin your life too you deserve better than this

he will promise you time and time again and drugs will come first no matter what, when they are blinded by their addiction its a complete waste of your time as you will be left to pick up the pieces xxx

replying to Administrator

Thank you ???????? have been in contact with the police .

replying to georgia26

Thanx for your advice much appreciated but can I ask you something personal have you ever been in a similar situation as mine .living with a drug addict .

replying to Rani123

Hi rani123. I have left my husband of 13 years. We have 2 children. He was drinking regularly and more recently started taking cocaine and smoking weed. He kept letting us down. He spent money we didnt have and we are overdrawn. He wasnt working properly. A few hours here and there. He tried to control it but every friday and/or saturday, u could almost guarantee he would go out with his friends and stay out late, come back out of it and then disturb us. I finally had enough and have left him but said if he gets help then he can join us. It's been 8 weeks now and he still hasnt reached out for help. Says he will but drags it on. He has had a few relapses too. I have given him a year, if no change/ improvement then its divorce for us. Jus wanted to say thanks for sharing, not a nice thing to be going through. Having kids in the situation does make things harder but I have learnt boundaries are so important otherwise they carry on taking advantage.

replying to Rani123

Hi Rani

I'm so sorry to read your post and to see what a difficult time you are having. I'm so glad that you have phoned the police to get help.

If you would like some more support from people who would understand what you are dealing with then you might want to contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people who are living with the affects of an addictive partner. We have trained and experienced people you could talk with if you contact us.

You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website www.icarustrust.org

All the very best to you.

replying to Rani123

You cannot help him, he needs to help himself. He is an addict and will lie and manipulate to get what he wants, cocaine.

It looks like he as taken everything from you. Your health, your home, everything and he's still not happy. He wants you to support him through his hard times. What about your hard times?

It looks like nothing matters other than the drink and the coke and you there to support him with the money he needs to buy it.

Be good to yourself.

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