: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

6 replies

A shock

A couple of months ago my son posted a life stream on line, he looked so thin and was clearly in a difficult phase. I had been preoccupied for a few weeks with my father being very ill in hospital. I took him some food the next day and was met by 3 of his friends at the front door expressing their concerns for his mental health. I then clearly saw he was in a psychosis phase. He agreed to go hospital but only to prove he was well. After hearing they wanted to do a mental health assessment he ran away.....to cut a long story short. Finally with a section placement in place he agreed to home treatment. Three months on and two other mental health assessments I’ve been told it’s not a mental health issue but a drug issue. He does nor want any help at this time, his life is destructing around him. He has lost his job, no longer allowed to see his children, about to lose his home. No support service in place and I don’t know what to do next. He phones me every day....talks so unrealistically about his plans and if I try to reasonalise anything he gets so angry with me. Any advice/ support welcome

replying to Lancaster78

I haven’t had any response to my post, I’m still lost in the darkness of what to do and where to go for help! Other posts since have responses, I don’t know why I haven’t? Is it not detailed enough or desperate enough, because believe me I’m desperate for help!

replying to Lancaster78

Sorry lancaster, i missed your post.. 1st off i have a cocaine problem. Im lapsing once a month but i am doing my best to quit.. and know a lot of coping ways..

But what drug is he addicted to? Whats his situation now? Sorry for no1 replying. Feel free to ask.me anything anytime

replying to Lancaster78

Did his mates not even explain he was on drugs? He needs to stay away from everyone to do with drugs.. ive seen.people have breakdowns on cocaine as it sends you really down.. but i dont know what it is.

1 reply

replying to Lancaster78

Thank you for your response, I really appreciate it! He has smoked cannabis for 10 years which I was aware off. His friends indicated they felt he was now using other things but they weren’t sure....only said they had seen him with a known dealer that he doesn’t usually associate with. He gets very hyper and wide eyed. He gets very angry very quickly and has lost all his long term friends! Been barred from his favourite places. The other day when I went to see him he desperately asked me to take him to check on some homeless guys (he said he is supporting). He told me they take crack. He jumped out of the car as soon as he saw them and told me to drive on. I parked around the corner. He came back 10 minutes later but I noticed his eyes were wide open and he was agitated and hyper in mood. He asked me for a loan yesterday and I said no. At first he got cross but managed to stop himself from being nasty when I said I was going to end the call. I realise I’ve been a rescuer and an enabler to him for a long time. It’s hard though to watch his life destructing around him. It’s just hard knowing what to do for the best?

replying to Lancaster78

Well it sounds like he could be on crack if hes dealing with people on crack.. but i could be wrong. He needs help really and to avoid all these people.

His friends seem to have been decent enough to tell you the truth. Does he want to stop?

replying to Lancaster78

Hi Lancaster78 so sorry to hear of the hard time trying to cope with your son. Read Danman83’s posts. Despite his own demon he seems to be there for everyone that wants to share. He helped me enormously a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling low and helpless. My son appears to be in his “let’s stay clear of Mum” fortnights which will continue until he decides to stroll back into my home and as much as I love him he’ll want feeding, food & comforts until he disappears again for heaven knows how long. Back to the life he chooses of turning his back on his little family & returning to begging on the street for drugs money, not eating properly & spending every penny he gets in benefit & from begging on weed and crack. It’s been 24 years of riding drug abuse. He just doesn’t want to try & get better. Even his key worker has stopped relying to my texts now so obviously he has nothing positive to tell me. Stay strong. The addict makes the decision to use. Sending love.

replying to Lancaster78

Hi Lancaster,

I'm so sorry that I missed your original post. I can see how desperate your son's addiction is for you. I wonder if you would be interested in any support from the charity I work for, We're called The Icarus trust and we provide support for people like yourself having to deal with a family member's addiction.

We have trained and experienced people you could talk with if you get in touch. Talking with one of them might help you to find a way forward and they will be able to let you know what other support is available for you.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website www.icarustrust.org

All the vcery best to you.

Access to this forum has been temporarily disabled for all users. If you are looking for immediate support, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123.

We have temporarily closed this forum for maintenance and review.

Adfam exists to provide support for, and improve the lives of, families affected by substance use, and we have found that in recent months the balance of posts has shifted to focus on users’ personal issues with substances and addiction. While we recognise that these are issues that deserve support, the high volume of posts had become unmanageable for our small team, and was preventing us from facilitating support for families. We have closed the forum to re-evaluate, and we will be re-launching as soon as possible with a renewed focus on family support. From that point on, we will not be facilitating any conversation regarding individuals’ own substance use.

If you are looking for support for your own substance use, there are other community-based forums online, such as at www.reddit.com/r/drugs and www.reddit.com/r/alcohol.

If you are affected by a loved one’s drug or alcohol use, and you are looking for support, you can find local services and recommended helplines on our Search for local support page.

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