Since May, I’ve had suspicions that my partner may be dabbling in cocaine. The suspicion started when his ex told me he’d previously been an addict, and he himself admitted that he used to do cocaine while out when he was younger. He didn’t admit how bad his recent problem/addiction was (and that it was only a couple of years ago) until around December time.
Before that, on the whole our relationship was amazing; he was a very loving and caring boyfriend. During my pregnancy to our baby, he really was the most supportive dad to be. We’d had a couple of arguments now and again, but nothing out of the ordinary, especially considering the hormones. Then in November, everything started unraveling. My partner lost his job, which left all the financial burden on me. Despite this, he still drank on a regular basis, most of which was in secret and involved him hiding the evidence in various hiding places around the house. Whenever I confronted him, he admitted that he would sneakily drink alcohol, but just when we argued. However, the drinking would cause us to argue, so it was a vicious circle. In the mean time, I was very paranoid about what his ex said, so constantly looking out for signs. Regularly, he would smell of alcohol or have dilated pupils, so I was becoming increasingly concerned that he had a serious alcohol/drugs problem. Since then, he has come back drunk many a times, mostly after an argument. Even the slight hint of an argument and he would go to the shop for alcohol. One time he did this and I was aware he had no money, but after looking at my bank realised he’d stolen my card. Despite being furious, I was a month away from our due date, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt (once he’d given me the money back). My partner suggested dry January, but the thought of not drinking seemed to make him worse, and led to heavy drinking on a couple of occasions. Plus, there was still no sign of him getting a job, other than a couple of supposed cash in hand jobs, which never equated to him bringing back money, and therefore caused more arguments.
Then a couple of weeks ago, he came back from a “cash in hand” job smelling of alcohol. This ended up in a massive argument, which escalated to my partner squaring up to me, punching a door & smashing a window, in which the police got called. After that, he stayed with family as I didn’t want to be near him. Then only a week later, he spent our £390 universal credit money, leaving me short of bill money.
I just want advice really. He’s admitted to having a drink problem but not admitted to taking drugs, although I’m about 90% certain he does that too. I can’t live with him while I don’t trust him to do drugs around our son or steal from me. But I still want him to see our son, and want to provide support to him as at least a friend, in a view that he gets help & maybe one day we can sort things out?