I have been with my husband for nearly 11 years. At the beginning he was the most caring kind attentive partner I've had. He really had me on a pedistool. The first time I can remember him taking cocaine was at the beginning but was at a party and didn't really seem a big deal although I don't touch it myself. I fell pregnant with our first child together after 1year and that's probably when it started happening out of the blue. So much has happened I would be here for weeks writing about it. But the amount of times he has let me down I really can't take anymore. He hallucinates, he looks ugly when he takes it and acts weird, he lies, spends our family money and leaves me until his binge is over with nothing. He has done this on birthdays and Xmas and has let me down too many times. He was off it for around 2 years, we were to get married as his reward and proving to me he wasn't going to do it again. We had our wedding in the carribean with just close family. A few weeks before the wedding he relapse, begged for forgive and we got married. Since the wedding there has been 2 Christmas day ruined. My birthday and my sons birthday ruined and more debt. His mum passed away in June 19 and he was so close to her. His old mate turned up at the funeral and boom shit got a whole lots worse.
The guy is an alcoholic and is sitting in his work van every day so he can drink vodka without any of his family finding out. He has bought him it and letting him smoke his cigs. Any time I spend money on food or essentials he moans at me. He can snap so quickly to a rage. Over the last last couple of weeks ther has been 2 relapses. 1st one was after I went for a biopsy, which he doesn't care about either, tells me I'm a drama queen and he will worry when he knows there's something to worry about.
He went to work and left me in bed crying in agony as I had inflammation which caused extreme pain and they couldn't complete the biopsy. He was to get my prescription from the docs before work, he didn't, he said he would get kids from school and drop in my prescription, he didn't. I had to collect the kids from his daughter and race to get my daughter to drama. I missed the chemist and by this time was in extreme pain. I got home and he was supposed to be at my mums fixing her sink as it was blocked. He had cancelled 3 days in a row. I walked in bedromm and there he was out his face in bed. I just lost it. I hit him with punches and he just cowered. I grabbed his phone to see what he had been upto. He got really mad and pinned me down trying to get it out my hand. He ripped it from my hand catching my hair and ripped a chunk out. He ran out house and was gone for 24hrs. I told my mum, well said he has an alcohol problem as she doesn't understand that world. She txt him saying how disappointed she was as she really does love him. He turned up full of sorry but within a few hours he was saying I'm never gonna allow you to lay your hands on me again. I was the reason he takes it. All I do is moan.
His mood is so all over the place is so hard to live with him.
Mugged off again I told him this was his last chance. He has now started this bitter fued with my mum which I haven't told her about that he saying how fucking dare she get involved. Refused to have her in my house for mothers day. Friday night went to bed everything good, woke up at 4am with him searching me in bed, eyes bulging out his head. He was looking for a secret mobile because he says I'm a cheating cow. By the way I'm a homeworker with 4 kids.
The next morning I got up and started work. He was clearly out of it because he must of stayed up all night. I told him to stay away from kids. I finished for my break and went upstairs he was gone. Said he wanted to gk see his daughter she's 21 and there always been jealousy issues as she is daddys girl, and at Xmas they had a binge together on Xmas day. Totally ruined dinner for everyone I was so embarrassed. So he goes ther and appears at my door early hour Saturday morning. My daughter got up and let him in. So now we are in the same house, one minute he's sorry the next screaming at me like a physco and he gone to work with his pal, which he said he would stop. Oh and I earn double what he does and he's spending all my wages on this shit and covering it up when I know he is lying and making me feel like a physco. I don't even know who I am anymore. I just can't go on