My partner and I have been together for 2 and a half years, he has always used drink and drugs recreationally but as we’ve become closer and are now living together it’s clear that his use is much more than recreational and generally he drinks most days and uses drugs most weekends and often into the week too. I am not a heavy drinker or drug user and his substance use makes me feel uncomfortable. I can tell it does no good for his mental health either.
For over a year now drink and drug use has been a constant issue, we have had so many arguments, promises and agreements. Unfortunately we just seem be going round in the same circle over and over again. My boyfriend will make promises and then end up breaking them and lying to me, I hate the dishonesty and this ends up in further arguments about trust in our relationship.
I feel like I am always getting it wrong, I want to help him live without drugs and I want to be happy
too, but I can’t seem to get there. I have given so many ‘final’ chances that neither of us believe that any more, every time he breaks my trust he gets so upset and I end up feelin awful and comforting him.
This year I chose to go to relationship counselling on my own to try and navigate this situation and I am always looking into addiction support for my partner. Right now I feel like I’m carrying this burden alone and I need my partner to work with me, but I keep letting him do the same things again and again, I’m not sure when or how this situation will end and I’m worried that I am enabling his behaviour, which will Just allow it to carry on until it breaks our relationship.
I’m just looking for advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation.