: Bereavement

Get support following a drug or alcohol related death

8 replies

Recognising alcoholism

I’m so fearful my partner will drink until he has pickled his liver and kidneys.

He drinks a 10 pack of beer every day. The other day he also had a litre bottle of sherry. 2 weeks before that he drank an almost full bottle of Cointreau liqueur both as well as the beer.

On the weekend, almost guaranteed within 15 mins of waking up he asks if we have any beer. He’s out of work at the moment so it’s me that is covering the cost. I know I must be stronger to protect my own finances as it’s so expensive.

The other night at midnight he asked if I could go to the shop for more beer. I went mad and said it’s not unreasonable for me to say no and what sort of man sends their loving partner into the night to do that.

His father was an alcoholic I understand and died at 39 when my partner was 9. So worried for him now and for myself. I know I can’t help him and he has to want to help himself.

Reading your helpful posts where help has sadly not worked makes me want to try harder. But I’m also at the point where I cannot face living my life this way forever with this man. He’s also into coke and weed.

I’m worried I’ll get home one day and find him in a bad way.

Has anyone else been here?

replying to Lamouette

I've been there sadly. Just recently my husband overdose and I barely saved his life.

My husbands father also was an acholic and 4 years ago he got clean, but my husbands upbringing was rough and may have contributed to his own addiction.

My husband just recently started to struggle with alcohol abuse ( I myself found driving around at 11pm at night looking for him as he tried to stumble to the liquor store).

This past week his alcohol addiction caused him to relapse on heroin where he almost died.

He always convinced me he had the problem under control and not to tell his family as it would break him.

Long story short, his family and my family all know now and it is like a weight lifted off of my chest. His family helped me get into a rehab and have been my support system through this.

I suggest you ask his family and your family for help. The more support you have the easier it is to help him. You are not alone and don't forget that.

I wish you all the luck and hopefully he get help he needs

replying to Lamouette

A long term sufferer or addict needs to consult a rehab therapist or a physician upon admission into one such addiction rehab center Indianapolis that has the best living and treatment facilities. This is what is precisely carried out in one such renowned addiction rehab clinics, and thus your loved ones can now look forward to a life of sobriety in a natural and therapeutic way. Some People grow the habit of taking alcohol or some particular drug, and become addicted.

During the path to recovery, the patient may develop a guilty consciousness about the ways he/she have led the life. There may well be several scenarios where they would be blaming themselves for the part. IN fact, the frustration build up may take such an ugly shape that they may try to end their lives. That’s why a reputed rehab center Indianapolis would always try to use different motivation programs and activities to keep the patient engaged while restricting them from committing any fatal mistakes with their lives.

replying to Lamouette

I'm too going through this. My husband will have 2 bottles of wine at 8am when shops open on his days off from work.

He will go sleep then go up for another one when he wakes up.

Have tea then goes up for a further 2.

If this happens on Sundays which mostly it does he phones in sick on Mondays.

I even been ask to get wine on school run.

My marriage was never like this before.. however always has had a drink issue and never drank first 3 years of being together. Now been together 10 yrs

He's not a nice drunk .... I get called fat lazy he can do better.

When I get very angry and try to talk to him about his drinking I get called a drama queen.

I have a son who has also asked him to stop drinking he's only 6. My 6 year old has called police before now.

I really do want to just leave and I'm only staying cos when he's sober he's wonderful however sober is a thing of the past.

How do I get him to leave he's so abusive with drink , I've been pushed punch.

I also however do not want the father of my child to be homeless

replying to Lamouette

I feel exactly the same. I worry he won't wake up in the morning. My AH recently became depressed and rang the samaritans and then decided he would go to turning point and go to detox. He had a blood test and we were shocked and the harmful levels in his blood which showed inflamation of the liver. They said if it got worse then he would be sent to the hospital. He did the detox without any bad effects at all, as soon as it was over he started drinking, just a little but it's almost back to what he had before. He wasn't on the really strong alcohol so to have such damaged liver was a shock. He says giving up isn't easy and hes trying to get his head round it.

I feel mad and disappointed and hurt. I'm so close to asking him to leave because of the deceit. I think it might push him over the edge. I don't know what to do.

replying to Lamouette

Hi there slightly different angle on this. But i wouldn't class myself as an alcoholic and in fact its taken me 3 yrs to even consider i have a problem with alcohol. I dont even like alcohol or need a drink however whenever i go on a night out it usually ends up (9/10) with me black out drunk and i start to say everything ive been keeping to myself. this often presents in the form of aggression. Often when i am upset with people i will verbally attack them on nights out. I just seem to have repeated this pattern of behaviour for years.

its starting to really affect my friendships as it obviously leaves my friends feeling upset and angry. i am lucky in that i have very forgiving friends. Just was wondering if anyone else has ever experienced this and if this counts as an alcohol issue. Just quite confusing as its a grey area.

replying to Lamouette

Hi, I have been exactly where you are. It doesn't matter how hard you try, it's him that needs to change and try harder. No matter what you do, support, etc he needs to accept he has a problem with alcohol. That is very very hard to accept. It took me years to accept I couldn't help my husband. I stood by him though and he died 6 wks ago and I am heartbroken. My friends don't understand how I can miss him with what he's put me through, but I knew the real person inside who was struggling with his demons. I was his main carer in the end. He suffered. The life a chronic alcoholic leads is not easy. Nor is their main supporters life. I totally understand where you are.

replying to Lamouette

ok ,have read previouse posts , I had a son who had everything to live for , he lived in new york for 9 years and came back a mess, didnt know how to deal with it now hese dead cant get over it i adored him his new wife bought him all the drink he needed so what could i do i now hate her he had a nice property which is now hers what am i thinking

replying to Lamouette

Hi Lamouette,

I'm sorry to hear how your partner's alcoholism is affecting you. If you would like some support for yourself please contact us at The Icarus Trust.

We are a charity that provides support for the families of addicts. We know how difficult it is to cope in this situation.

If you get in touch one of our trained and experienced people would contact you and maybe talking to them would be helpful. They would also signpost you to what other help is available.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website www.icarustrust.org

I hope that this helps. Good luck.

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