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Ex-partner and cocaine addiction

Recently just split from my partner who has a history of cocaine and alcohol use. He was off cocaine for a year and a half but we have recently split up. I knew he was back using because of his behaviour and we have a 4 month old baby, and after failing a drug test I don’t think he’s fit enough to look after her. Need some advice on what to do.

replying to Lottie03

I would run a mile personally. My hubby (although says he doesn't do it) still up from 7 this morning and been to work. Hes downstairs using and I know he is .just an awful life to have living with an addict xx

replying to Lottie03

I got back with my bf hoping he would stay clean, I think partly because of my hormones as we’d not long had a baby and I wanted it to work, but 3 years later he’s back on it and now it’s sooo much harder as he has a really good relationship with our son so I now feel I’m stuck with him. He was meant to be looking after him as nursery was closed last week and I found out he spent £150 on either coke/crack during that day!!!! So now can’t leave him at all. So with a baby no way I would leave him on his own, make sure you’re there too unless you’re sure he’s clean and is going to stay that way. My bf would be horrified if I said I was going to let someone babysit who’d been taking drugs but ok for him to do it apparently. They can’t control it at all so you just can’t trust them at those times unfortunately. Sorry you are having to deal with this with a baby to look after, take care of yourself xx

1 reply

replying to Lottie03

Exactly he would not let you leave the baby with an addict .but in his eyes he's not an addict just takes it recreational, ive heard it all before. He will never change cause he doesn't want to. My hubby is proper cocky too about it all.almost throwing it in my face about him still using an theres nothing I can do about it. Stay strong xx

1 reply

replying to Natasha21

I just don’t understand how their brains work it doesn’t make sense does it?? My partner has never ever voluntarily. admitted anything to me in the whole c. 6 years we’ve been together I’ve found out eventually each time - but then he gets better at lying so I have to come up with a new way. The lies are unbelievable. Now I’m secretly testing him and it’s positive but can’t say anything…. I could ask him to leave as it’s my house and I think that’s the only reason he doesn’t throw it in my face like yours does as when we had to stay at his for a while I saw a real change in him he was vile - I feel stupid as so many ladies on here want to get away and I have the chance but I’m not strong enough I feel too guilty and bad for our son who just always wants his daddy….I think you’re right they have to really want to change - he does a bit I believe that but he doesn’t put the effort in he just tried to hide away in the house so it’s never going to work long term especially as his older son and now our next door neighbours son turn out to be both selling it - makes me feel there’s no hope I just feel so sad for our son xx

replying to Lottie03

Hi lovely, yeh mine went out from work last night, I spoke to him at 5:30,said he would be an hour, I text and phoned after 9 ish,no contact back then 12,30 this morning hes phoning (selfish b, don't answer my calls or texts but phones and expects me to answer. ) anyway told him to stay at his drug dealer *( friend apparently, cause hes so thick) he came back at 6 this morning like nothing happened, trying to cuddle me,joker. Not gone to work hes still in bed asleep. One big argument today now when he gets up because he's selfish and thinks it'd all acceptable at the age of 45 to do what he wants. Stay strong beautiful xx

1 reply

replying to fayzey

Hi mate, I'm at work so can't reply much but I saw you say you feel guilty for your son who just wants his daddy.

If this has been going on for 6 years already then the best chance of your son getting his daddy back is to distance yourself from your partner. Make sure that he knows that he needs to get help and control his addiction so he can be the dad his son deserves and hope that the realisation of you leaving and it affecting his relationship with his son helps him get clean.

If you do nothing all that will happen is your son will have a dad who's doing gear and a mum who is worn down and tired from trying to hold the family together.

Be strong and always do what you know is right by your son.

Take care

James x

2 replies

replying to Lottie03

Hi James how are you?I can't cope anymore with his mood swings, drug and drink habit and then him just being either vile to me or just not talking x

replying to Natasha21

What’s happened Natasha ? Sometimes it just gets to you bad I feel like every ounce of my body is just drained why’s this fair on us 🥲

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