: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

1 reply

drink and gamberling partner: dont know what to do.

ok so, i am completely new to this and this is the first time I have done this I just dont know what else to do and thought this might help. so I apologise If I ramble.

I have been with my partner now for 4 years and over the years he has started to drink and gamble. he has done alot of things in the past like gamble all our money, lies about what's hes doing gets very angry and very drunk.

he associates drinking with everything and he cant just have a few, everytime he drinks he gets really drunk and verbally abusive. stumbles round the house doesnt know where the toilet is etc.

but it's been getting worse...

when I come home from work hes drunk has no respect for the house, he says nasty things and gets in my face and even when I try to go to bed he continues. he disappears for sometimes days without no contact then turns up and doesnt apologise just somehow turns it around on to me. this used to happen every so often but it has now happened 4 times in the last month! for example

Saturday I get home from work in the early am and hes drunk, place a mess and starts verbally abusing me. sunday he gots up and goes out for more beer as he says he needs it to straighten himself out. comes home with more and he drinks it so quickly like its water! so sunday is the same but this time he gets drunk that he passes out and falls asleep. monday he got up told me he was going to see his mum.. and that's the last I see of him till 9PM tuesday night. when he walks in the door looking a state and smells, no apology just says "hey alright" doesnt want to talk about it as he says he doesnt wanna hear it.. hes goes to bed!

he was suppose to be at work today but didnt go instead when he gets up just puts the same clothes on and heads out the door no explanation where hes going, nothing! walks back in midday and goes straight back up to bed!

that's just the recent activity. I dont know how to be I feel un easy around him incase I say the wrong thing that will make him start again, I can feel the anxiety in my chest and the numb feeling down my legs. I dont want to to feel like this. he shows no sign of respect for me. I really dont no what to do he acts like he dont care.

replying to el626

I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this. I also live with an addict who gambles and drinks. It is hard. I would say use these forums to build awareness of how to approach this - your situation seems more volatile than mine. I can’t tell you what to do because that’s not what this forum is for but I can offer to be a listening ear... In my case, I’ve told myself that mine has got until the end of August to show me change. If he can’t, then I’m going to ask him to leave because I’ve had 4 years of paying bills, being the sole responsible adult in the house and him lying etc. I can not commit to another 4. You need to do what is best for you.

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