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I have posting about my son who has relapsed after 2 years. He has maintained that he is stopping drugs. Home test are not clean.

I caught his dealer at the house yesterday and obviously he bought drugs.

I am struggling emotional with the lies and the bare face manipulation. I am also harbouring deep feelings of resentment towards him.

I honest cannot fathom who would choose a life of isolation, no friends, unkempt appearance and Nothingness over human connection and having choices.

Any thoughts anyone ?

replying to Cathsp

Hey cath I have some, happy to share, conscious you have heard me before

replying to Cathsp

Sorry I don’t understand your last. Message but would welcome the insight please.

I am sssssssoooooo angry at him today honest I think if I keep confronting him it is not going to a good end today.

And he swears that the drug test will be clean on 31 July and from that day onwards

Now I don’t think he has access to A endless supply of clean urine.

But wondered if you look at this from the View of cycle change is this the pre-contemplation stage or the contemplation stage or just the never ending running around of addictive behaviour.

Help Pls as I despair !

replying to Cathsp

Hey Cath

The dealer being at the house tells you all you need to know. He may well pass a test on 31st July but that doesn't mean he hasn't been using, or won't right after - addicts are resourceful, manipulative and cunning - I know, I am one.

I can also tell you that when I'm caught up in all that I don't care if I'm alone, who I'm hurting, whether I look like a tramp, whether I have washed - I just care about getting my fix and myself and that's it. That's just what happens when the drugs take over

You need support with this. You can't tackle this alone

replying to Cathsp

Thank you so much

U might be or have have an addict but you have an big Caring Personality And an even biggar heart 💓, Clearly you wish to give something back by sharing your story an insight.

It has helped me so much.

You make a difference and Keep making a difference, people like you are special

replying to Cathsp

I wouldn't say that. I owe out far more than I give that's for sure. Any help you need let me know

replying to Cathsp

Got to admire your honesty BT1978 and totally agree with you. When in the midst of addiction, anything/everything else goes out the window.

Addiction has common signs and symptoms - behavioural, social, physical, psychological etc.

No "addict" would choose this way of living, but by the time they take a look at what they've become they are in way over their head! Essentially they lose control of themselves, however they can choose recovery!

Perhaps for yourself Al anon might be a place for you to access some support, and guidance on understanding the nature of addiction, but also to help you to "detach" and learn new ways to cope whilst dealing with this.

It's heartbreaking and frustrating I can understand that, especially when dealers are hanging about the home environment. I can go into detail about the "role" of a dealer, but ultimately as the other comment said " it tells you all you need to know" he is obviously not in control and requires help, but sadly he would want to get help and sometimes that can takes a long time.

Rock bottom always has a basement. It's the devastating reality of addiction 😱

replying to Cathsp

Thank you both BT1978 and kel1

replying to Cathsp

Can someone describe the steps of “detaching” in the process of drug addict son and ME- mother please!!

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