: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

56 replies

My Son Cannabis addict

My son is 20 years old and has been smoking Cannabis for a few years. He tried to hide it at first but the smell made it obvious he was using. It has become more and more of an issue, he smokes at least 3 to 4 times a week, alone, outside. He’s wasted in a morning and looks terrible. We banned him from smoking in the house or having anything to do with weed in the house, but he just sneaks it in or lies about it. It causes huge arguments between us, his moods are low, then high and any attempt to talk to him escalate into a blazing row and him being aggressive. A few weeks ago after a particularly bad row he agreed he would stop bringing it in the house. He never thinks he has an issue as ‘everyone smokes it now’. We are very concerned that he is smoking more often than ever, and worry he has a serious problem, especially as this morning he took Edibles, despite both myself and his dad working from home. So now he’s stoned in the daytime too. He lives a good life with us, he has his own floor in our house which we’ve threatened to move him from, but we‘re worried he will move out and live with other users. We’re so worried about his mental health and the risk of him moving to other drugs, does anyone have any advice please?

replying to Pixie74

Hi Pixie 74

I don’t have suggestions or advice that will help I’m afraid, but I do understand your frustration, anger and having no idea what to do to help your son, or to get him to stop.

I hope others can help you with their stories.

I hear that all the time ‘Everone does it’, and it’s true a lot of young people do, but when something takes over your day, it’s a problem.

I only found this group yesterday and knowing there was somewhere safe to go to share how I feel, was like a light being shone, albeit a match flame in a huge black room, but it’s a start. People care and understand and are willing to share their stories. You are not alone. I’m not alone. We have somewhere to offload.

I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you x

1 reply

replying to Pixie74

I know what you going though this happened to me with my son I was a single parent. He was stealing from me and smashed my house up as he had mood swings I couldn't handle it anymore and ask police to come round so I could kick him out, I didn't see him for a couple of years and it broke my heart that I had to do this then one day he rung me asking for help so i brought home home he shut himself away in his home and went cold turkey, that was 8 years ago now. His now good a good job and is a lovely man he had abit to drink a a party and cried saying how sorry he was for the things he put me though.so there is hope and I really hope its come good for you and your son xx

replying to Pixie74

Thank you for your kind words of support. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions. One day I’m so angry with him for what he’s doing to himself I want to throw him out, the next I feel sad that he’s using Cannabis as an escape, and messing with his mental health and his future. Today I feel sad, but You’ve given me hope. Thank you. Jackie, I’m glad your son has found his way again, I wish him well for continued happiness . Xx

replying to Pixie74

I can relate to how you feel. The “all my friends do it” comment has been thrown at me. I worry so much about things escalating. This forum seems like a good place to share and realise how many others share in your angst and are feeling just as you do right now. I wish I had the answers for you, I will follow this thread and keep my fingers crossed we both find useful advice

replying to Pixie74

Hi Pixie and Jackie

I've been reading your thread.

I too, am the mother of an adult son with alcohol and drugs addiction.

Pixie - I totally understand and sympathise with you. It must be hard when he's behaving like that under your nose. Its really hurtful and you feel helpless. He needs to get to a point where he needs the support. Everyone doesn't do it...my daughter had the same upbringing and not interested in using anything! Read the other threads might be another in same situation.

Jackie - your story gives me hope for my son. Im so happy for you, that's all you want as a mum, for them to be healthy and happy!

I wish you both well.

Keep posting

Lx

replying to Pixie74

Hi Pixie,

I feel your pain - my husband is a cannabis addict, and smokes every day. I am at my wits end.

My brother had issues with mental health due to cannabis use too, so all I can advise is get him help as soon as you can, otherwise this problem will just get worse. My husband is 46 and I fear there isn't anything I can do to help as he has serious emotional problems (probably due to his mum's alcoholism and his family's attitude towards emotions generally). He has a family who loves him and yet he just wants to spend all his free time getting stoned.

Don't feel guilty about telling your son he can't smoke in the house. Skunk is incredibly strong and dangerous for mental health - I had a boyfriend who's Dad didn't see the harm in him smoking and he ended up with full blown psychosis.

I wish I could offer more advice and help - all I can say is that my brother got better, he got help and support, that's what your son needs.

Sending so much luck and good wishes your way,

Tina

replying to Pixie74

Thank You Tina. I’m really sorry that your husband has these issues. You’re incredible for sticking by him, it must be so hard living with it like this.

Last night my son smoked drugs in the house again, despite sending me a text an hour before telling me there was ‘nothing up stairs’. He’s always told lies but now we don’t know where the truth or lies begin and end. Our bedroom and landing stunk of the stuff, and so we confronted him. As he was stoned he was really amiable and apologetic, this morning is very different as we’ve told him to move rooms, to the small one downstairs.

He says he hasn’t got a problem, we don’t know what we’re talking about, everyone does it, in there homes and now he’ll be depressed and he hates us. 😥 I’m worried he’s going to move out and live with other users, but we can’t keep enabling him.

replying to Pixie74

Hi All,

I have only just registered on this forum and this is the first time I ever write to strangers and share my thoughts, fears and emotions. I have a son who just turned 19 and has been smoking weed for a few years. It started in school with the occasional joint, then a few years later, now he is addicted and smokes it every day. He hardly left our home in the last 12 months during covid and became very isolated. He suffers from anxiety and mood swings.

He tried to stop a few times but couldnt manage it on his own. Unfortunately, he wont talk to anyone about it as he is "not ready". I'm so scared that it is too late and he wont be able to function and live a happy life without it.

I know it is quite an old post that I'm responding but wanted to see if you were still around on this forum.

Take care everyone.

1 reply

replying to Pixie74

Hi , yes I’m still on the forum

Regarding my son has been using since he was 12 and now is 20 , I did write on the forum about him last year , due to his aggressive behaviour, and I was at my wits end ! a year on and during lock down things got worse he has now psychosis and has very severe delusions and hallucinations and ! Still using canibis On Saturday he was sleeping with knives to protect himself and running around the gardens looking for so called trespassers looking for him ,he really cuts and self harms now and lifted a knife in front of me to cut himself

I rang the doctor and she tried to contact my son but he would not talk to her , today we where visited by the young persons intervation team to support aaron to help him with his phycosis ! But he again refused , I now have the support from the mental health team thank god , and told that if he has another psychosis I can ring and have him sectioned , ! Which I will do ! My son can not cope with out using ! He has a bed room like a squat and never leaves the house ! His cannabis is posted to him from America ! Only this morning while I was trying to coax him out his bedroom to talk to the team in my house he said I was crazy ! His mental age is about 15 although he is 20 !

Praying one day he will seek recovery !

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