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My other half and cocaine...

Hi all very pleased to have found this site and see that I’m not as lonely as I feel!

Not normally one of splurging my feelings but I feel this is a safe space. I’d never thought my other half would dabble with drugs! However after cleaning the my living room in the summer I found some ‘paraphernalia’ under my sofa... turns out my other had ‘misplaced’ this after a boozy night with his friends. Turns out he has been doing cocaine.... he at first denied it and then eventually confessed telling “he’d done it on a few nights out with friends”. We have two young children so gave him an ultimatum and he said he’d never do it again. He works full time and I know the friend he works with uses cocaine. I naively thought the drama was over until I found some suspicious messages on his phone a few nights back (wrong to go through his phone yes I know) again i confronted him and he tells me he hasn’t used any. We have two young children and I’m petrified of losing their dad to addiction and all the debt etc that usually coincides as we currently have a comfortable life , he promises me it’s not like that ... a story many of you have probably heard before. I’m trying to cling onto hope but I’m so worried. He’s knows it’s wrong but the response I’ve had is ‘I’m an adult and you need to believe what I say’

Splurge over

Thanks for reading xxx

replying to Bex1990

Hi Bex, welcome to the forum.

Everyone on this forum has a loved one who has an addiction.

So many lovely people offering advice and support.

I'm told it's the norm for some people to have some recreational drugs at the weekend these days.

I'm from a different generation, it wasn't something I was interested in.

The only problem is an individual sometimes doesn't have an off switch...then they can't stop, cocaine leaves them wanting more. It's an evil drug once it's got a hook on you.

My son has some form of ocd, or adhd as whatever he does, drink drugs, gambling..it's 100%.

Everyone is different though


replying to Bex1990

Hi Bex,

So glad that you've found the forum and don't feel quite so alone now.

I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust that offers support to the families those that have an alcohol or drugs habit as we know that this is a difficult place to be.

If you feel that you could do with some support, please contact us at The Icarus Trust. You would be put in touch with one of our Family Friends. These are our very experienced trained people, who would listen to you, understand what youtre dealing with and show you what other help is available.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website www.icarustrust.org

I hope this helps. Good luck.

1 reply

replying to Bex1990

Hey Bex.

I have recently left my partner due to sly cocaine taking and sitting up alone all night getting wasted.

He can’t go three days without drink or drugs and has turned on me since I left.

Loved him so much even when I walked out but since then he has forgotten everything I did for him over the last few months and treats me like the enemy.

It is very hard to see the addiction as separate to your loved one but if you want to keep loving them I think that’s the way. He has been so cruel that I can no longer bring myself to love the person I once did. I just can’t see him in there anymore.

I’d say watch out for dishonesty. Make sure you know the signs of intoxication with the substances you suspect he takes and take good care of yourself.

Addicts are good liars and their brains convince them that they need to do anything to get the substance they are addicted to.

Good luck. I hope things don’t progress x

replying to Stemgirl


Thanks for your reply! It’s so difficult isn’t it I guess the addiction consumed your partner!. I’m so scared that my other half will go down the same path and there is nothing you can do to prevent it!. Xx

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