Hi Drained & Tired,
I was hoping to hear from you, i'm sorry its still the same for you.
Honestly it is draining, I understand how you feel. My husband managed to quit without help, there was a defining moment for him I think. At some point he could see what he was doing was wrong on so many levels, his detachment from life, his inability to have any empathy, his health, his focus.
Mind you, this was going on for years before he had this moment! He would love to be able to do it once or twice a year at a party, but he realises he is unable to, and its like using the analogy that you wouldn't have a drink once or twice a year if you were an alcoholic would you?
How old are you lovely? x