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20+ years as a light user crack cocainr

I was introduced to the drug at 13 was many years later that did it again and truly have been a no regular light user at most once a week but in last 6 months all of a suden it has taken full control its a daily thing and its really messing my mind up i have no control im truly a slave to it ...i dont enjoy it i hate it and its getting worse i honestly think im better off committing suicide than to keep living like this..ive never stolen or committed a crime but my finances are at a crisis i have nobody and dont know where to turn i already have mental health issue and on meds im scared my mind is going.

replying to Nolifenohappiness

Hi Nlnh

Welcome to the forum. Im sorry to read your story but it's a positive thing that you realise that you have a problem and you're seeking help.

I want you to know that people care about you and want you to get well.

I'm the mother of a son who has alcohol and cocaine addictions. The alcohol triggers the need for cocaine. Then the drug messes with your head and it consumes you.....but only if you let it.

There is help and support on the homepage, also the Icarus trust posts here too. Please don't feel alone in this, there are people who can help you.

My son reached out for help last year. He had a lot of debt, he was ill with worry, he too felt the way you are feeling.

He had to cut away from people who could influence him. He joined AA and CA meetings daily, doing the 12 step program, met some great people who all support each other, got a sponsor.

He watched videos of recovering addicts, did meditation to help with anxiety, let the doctor know what was happening in his life.

Not gonna lie, it's been tough for him, he's relapsed a few times, but this is normal. I'm proud to say he is currently 90 days clean. Feeling the best for years.

I hope there is someone close you can confide in, but if not, try the above support . All you need is faith hope, strength and determination. I believe you can do this. Read the other threads here there are many people in recovery offering advice and support.

Please don't feel alone in this.

Always here to chat,


replying to Nolifenohappiness

Please don't kill yourself - it is not too late to turn yourself around, My son was in the exact situation,

There are people who can help you, Stepchange is a good place to start with money problems if you owe companies money, they have helped me get out a financial mess.

Please visit the doctor or confide in someone if you can,

My son is in rehab at the moment and if he didnt have me im not sure he would still be here. i know this isnt the end once he comes out but hoping he will have the skills to change his life.

He used to tell me he would kill himself and its the worst feeling.

Please call someone even the samaritans, they are there to help x

replying to Nolifenohappiness

Hi, I’m really glad you reached out on here. We are all here to support each other.

Have you spoken to anyone else, like your GP or mental health services? I know it may seem a bit scary, but they are there to help. Use them.

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