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Desperate for help


I can’t quite believe I am here but in my mind taking this step is the first step to getting better and taking control back of my life. I have always dabbled with recreational drugs but since I got with my current partner I’ve found myself changing into someone I don’t recognise anymore. He used to have a cocaine problem....lying a lot and hiding alcohol and his drug dependence. I’m not really sure what happened as we did take cocaine together maybe once or twice a month on a night out but somehow this has spiralled and I’ve found myself taking cocaine with him on more and more occasions. So much so that it is 3 or 4 times a week. I’m so embarrassed to admit this and I seem to have this urge to blame him for this downward spiral. He doesn’t think we have a problem but I’ve told him this is not normal behaviour. I don’t think If I was single and not living with him id be here now but I can’t continue to blame him and do nothing myself about it. I’ve decided to try and get some sort of support to conquer this battle once and for all. I’m so tired of feeling hanging or tired and stressed out. I just know if I can get through even a week without it il be on my way to better days. All in all I’m here to try and refocus and gain insight into other peoples experiences. Does anyone else find themselves taking drugs more because their partner does? I can’t believe I’ve let my life slip like this I never thought I’d sink this low to deal with my stresses by taking cocaine. Any advice to help me through my first week clean would be so so appreciated. I really want to be able to get my life back. Thanks in advance for any advice or support anyone can give❤️

1 reply

replying to Captain1987

Hi captain, welcome to the forum. Everyone here has a loved with addictions or are people in recovery offering advice and support or some are seeking advice.

My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions but is clean and doing well just now.

If you read Dot's story (next to this one) he is currently 9 months clean and is sharing his full story.

No one will judge you, we are all here for each other.

I wish you well


1 reply

replying to Captain1987

The fact that you want change and your remarkable honesty about yourself means that you are stronger than you think. It is hard and will continue to be so at first which is why you must show absolute determination. If you can feel the health benefits after 1 week that’s good but this is when you need to be at your utmost defense. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, this is your life! Count the days and the weeks. Soon you’ll be counting months and years thinking how could I have put myself through that. Tough lesson but hopefully this will propel you to greater things and overcome any challenge that sets itself before you. Best of luck

replying to Libertas

Thankyou so much I really appreciate all these words- I am so ready to call it quits and I really do feel that this online forum could be an excellent starting point. I know today I won’t feel like it as I have a really important job interview tomorrow. What worries me is tomorrow-if job interview goes well il probably feel like celebrating but if it goes badly il feel like blocking things out so I plan to come on here and document my struggle and reach out for help in those few hours of cravings. The replies mean so much to me so Thankyou to both who have sent kind words of encouragement! I read Dots post and it gave me so much faith that it is possible. 9 months seems a long way off but it does show it is possible. Thanks again everyone. Feeling good and motivated today to get this sorted once and for all❤️My friend laughed when I told her I’m seeking help saying I don’t have a problem? I told her I’d rather her say nothing if she can’t be supportive x

replying to Lindyloo

Thankyou so much for your reply I am very encouraged by the stories I am reading on here. It’s given me faith already that this road to recovery is possible. I will be online tomorrow in the pre empting knowledge that I will be experiencing cravings. Ridiculous how subtly This has got a hold on me :-( at least I now have a place to come online when I’m having these incessant impulses. Thanks again for your reply it means more than you will know❤️All the best to your son It’s great to hear he is doing well! X

replying to Captain1987

You're welcome, we're all here for each other.

Keep posting and stay strong 💪


replying to Captain1987

You know that regardless of the outcome of the interview if you celebrate by going off it or drowning your sorrows it will only result in one outcome which is remorse, self pity, damage to your health and state of mind. Capture this moment of strong will and take it as a sign that something deep in side you is telling you to stop.

If the interview goes well, it will lead you onto better things and if it’s not meant for you, you have to learn from it and something better that’s right for you will come along as long as you keep trying.

The key is to enjoy yourself for who you are you can still laugh and joke with friends and have a good time without booze or substances.

Look back at the last day, how did you cope? Life was better without it.

It takes a few moments of strong will to say no and you may have to keep doing that for a while but the reward from knowing you can do it and the immense benefits are hard to ignore.

Good luck with your interview. You can do it!

1 reply

replying to Captain1987

So you are at the stage where you know it's an issue.

The problem you have is by doing it with him you have made it "acceptable" to do and he knows no different.

The debts start mounting up and the use increases. You need to address it now or it won't get sorted but no offence it has gripped you.

One week off won't be enough.

Routine (go bed on a set time wake up a set time)

Eat healthily (3 meals a day whether you are hungry or not)

Exercise (get out go on walks stay hydrated and eat l)

Cut alcohol for a few months its definitely the biggest trigger

Glad you've gone for help do these things and it will make stopping easier. Plenty of multi vitamins

You can do this. Does your partner want too though? If either of you doesn't it's gonna be a battle...

replying to Dot

This is all so useful for me Thankyou. I’ve already planned my evening tonight and I’m looking forward to going to bed after nice relaxing bath with my meditation audio and getting some self care back into my routine! I am so so grateful for even being able to speak on here to people who understand and who will not judge me honestly it’s the biggest help right now. I’m aiming for 1 week as I know if I say I’m never doing it again I’m likely to set myself up to fail. If I set myself week by week challenge I think it’ll seem easier to conquer. The issue is with my partner I know he won’t stop. He lies about it and is so dishonest he doesn’t see it as a problem. I used to go mad when I found out he’d been doing it behind my back back in the days when I didn’t really touch it. Now i find myself just as bad as him. I’m disgusted with myself but I know I have it in me to stop. If he carries on It will mean he will have to leave the family home because this is now make or break sadly. If we can’t stop together we’ll have to separate for the greater good for us both. Thankyou so much for the opportunity to talk to people like yourself who are listening and not passing judgement! Massive appreciation for all of these posts ❤️

1 reply

replying to Captain1987

Reach out if the urge creeps in. I can assure you what ever happens if you succumb to any temptation the perpetual guilt will torment you. Be mindful that there are literally no benefits what so ever to yourself if you let your guard down. Your life is in your hands and it’s you who has the most power to stop and change anything that’s toxic. You’re not alone, not judged and well done for realising the BS, leave yesterday behind, bring tomorrow on.

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