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Has anyone’s beloved actually quit the cocaine? Or it is just not possible?

Hello all. My husband has been taken cocaine for nearly 20 years, but it is always a weekend thing. But now he is 37, I think he is addicted to it. He took it at the week day and miss work. He doesn’t take it daily and sometime once a month but sometimes once a week. He always say he regrets it so much afterwards, but this terrible thing just controls him. Not sure if I should be glad that he is not daily uses, but I just can not see the hope as he keeps saying he will stop but never stops.

It is scary when he is on it as the thing he said is just so hurtful and the disappearing and the lies. So I wonder has anyone’s beloved really managed to stop it, so perhaps we can have some hope or advise as in how to help them and be positive about life?

Thank you all and take care! xx

3 replies

replying to himbeere

It’s crack with my partner and I really can’t answer your question. I wish I could. My experience has gotten worse with his disappearing acts and blowing vast amounts of money then having nothing for the rest of the month. I found 2020 horrendous on top of everything else and in September it came to a head when his mother died and he couldn’t be found. Since then until Sunday he really behaved and I was killed into a false sense of security as out the blue he disappeared and so it begins. Back to square one not a penny and lies that it’s not gone on drugs but I know clearly it has just by looking at him he looks unhealthy and smelled etc. I’m in limbo at the minute with the promise it’s never going to happen again but I suspect it will and it’s how much as a person you can take because I can’t take much more. I’m not saying people don’t change but in my experience there’s a lot who don’t. I hope that you are ok I know how it feels stay close to family/friends to give YOU the support you deserve and need. Xxx

1 reply

replying to himbeere

Thanks so much for your reply Chezza123, didn’t expect I can get a rely that quick at this late night. I really feel for you. I know we are not alone here, which is always a big help. But I also think we wish to hear someone could tell us with a successful story to keep us going! Although I know lots of them have no successful story. I just think perhaps even there is a little chance we could summarise what could help our beloved ones and what could help ourselves, so more and more people can be positive about life, as I am sure most of us here feel terrible and miserable about life at the moment.

Right now my husband is disappeared 4 days now, which has broke the record, he normally comes home after a night away.. I don’t know what will happen and what I will expect, I know I miss him despite everything. I am sure you have felt the same.how long has your partner been on and how often?Has he regretted of this reclapes ? Maybe he will keep trying? I know it sounds naive but I still hope/ wish I could hear some miracle saying it is possible..

Lots of love xx

1 reply

replying to himbeere

Just having a read through and it seems to be a tough time for alot of us at the moment, and we are all in the same boat.

My partner is on a binge this week with cocaine, could be more I wouldn't know, but he has disappeared all week, he said he was mugged and they took hes phone, so can't even contact him. Have been worried sick all while he's having the time of hes life getting high in some drug den. I find coming on here helps me when my emotions get the better of me. I just wish we could get through to them some how but it seems impossible. And the thing is when they finally re appear they share no remorse or anything. Well my partner doesn't. He just sleeps for days and then is really moody and snappy and is looking to get hes next fix. Hope your all OK xx

replying to Drained and tired

Yes you are not alone. We are all together somehow. For me at the moment it is not sad or angry. It is more feel like empty and hopeless. I want him come back home but when he’s home he just sleep for ages like you said.

Not sure if you won’t let him home until he has some sense, would it help? I don’t have many good ideas, but we just discuss here and hopefully, with all our ‘experience’ we can figure out what can help our husbands and ourselves. xx

1 reply

replying to himbeere

My partner disappeared for 2 days came back on Wednesday evening, then disappeared Thursday morning again. All the time they have money or someone that is providing them with the fix then they will stay out. When all supplies run out that's when they show there face again. I have spent most days and nights upset and worried for him to then just stroll through the door and not even explain what he's been doing or where he has been. I am qt the point now where I am ready to pack hes things up and move on. If he doesn't show he's face by tonight then I will do. Like you say we are all.in simular situations and it does help to talk about it on here xx

replying to Drained and tired

Have you tried to talk with him ever about his behaviour? Did he admit he caused damage? I more and more realise nothing we can do to help them, but themselves. If they don’t even realise they are terribly hurting us and wrong. Then they just won’t change or won’t worth us to be sad about. My husband hasn’t turned up yet. But no matter they show up their face or not. If they don’t even care about us when they are sober. Then no point for us to care about or worry about them. Keep strong! xx

1 reply

replying to himbeere

I have tried talking with him and just get told to shut up or stop going on.

He has literally caused me so much stress the last week and to not be able to even contact him because he hasn't hasn't a phone is driving me insane.

The sad part is we are the ones worrying and talking about them, yet they probably havnt even given us one thought.

Xx

2 replies

replying to himbeere

Hiya hope your OK. I'm 10 weeks clean today from cocaine. I'm 37 aswell and I've been using 11 years. You can use coke once a month and still be addicted.

If he's been using 20 years, he is definitely addicted. You don't have to be using everyday.

He will regret it afterwoods because it sends you depressed and suicidal for days after using.

Cocaine uses all your dopamine levels up in your brain and that's why u come crashing down.

If he wants to stop, he needs to want to stop for himself not because u want him to. He needs to delete all dealers numbers, friends and family who use. Even get a new number. Come off all social media as you can message dealers on there.

I joined CA anonymous in Dec and I've been clean since its helped me so much. Would he join and go to meetings?

1 reply

replying to Drained and tired

Did your partner ever want to talk or want to stop?

If he doesn’t care then you have to try not care, although I know how hard it can be. No need to be insane about he’s having no phone, even he had phone, would he text you and say something to make you less worry? At first I feel so worried if my husband didn’t contact me, but the moment he’s not coming home we know what happened. I think we need to care about ourselves if they don’t care about us! xx

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