My fiancé who I’ve been with 2 years has finally admitted he has an addiction to cocaine. I knew he used heavily before he met me - he claimed to have stopped when he met me because he knows I don’t agree with it and throughout our relationship things weren’t adding up, I was finding empty bags etc and the explanations were sketchy.
My issue is that I have no one to talk to about this, I have a couple of friends both of which are too immature and would judge. I can’t talk to my family because they’ve got my best interests at heart and would hate him. He only has 2 siblings and they both know but quite frankly don’t care. He’s taking around an 8th every other day. He’s started going to NA meetings but today he fell asleep during it and because I kept waking him up he left the meeting claiming it was because I’m nagging. I know deep down it’s not my fault but I’m a fixer so I’ll say sorry regardless.
I feel like I’m enabling his habit - he says he wants to quit and I can really see that he means it. Someone he knows quit by cutting down so that’s the path he’s taking. It just doesn’t seem to be getting him anywhere though. I feel like saying ‘that’s it you’re not doing this anymore. Not in our house and not in our relationship’ but i know that’s harsh and likely to fuel a drug binge. At the minute he tells me when he’s doing it and how much etc. But am I being an enabler? I question him, he gets defensive. But I’m really at breaking point after what he’s done in his meeting today. I’ve took the keys for the house, we’ve spoken about locking him in for 3 weeks, giving him no way to get anything but surely that can do more harm than good?
I’m just at a loss of what to do and I feel so alone. I’m not leaving him, I love him with all my heart, but this is heartbreaking and mentally ruining me.