So the last month has probably been the worst in my life. I relapsed about a month ago after 4 month clean. It started because I was in agony with pain in my shoulders and I started taking pain killers which were making me happy. Taking them more than I should. I've stopped now. But I think this led to me relapsing. I went out all night. Came home had a big argument with my gf and I was horrible and calling her every name under the sun.
She packed my bags and kicked me out after 12 years. I'm now living in shared accom, untill I get a flat. My mum said I can go hers but I don't get on with my dad. It's all my fault. This stuff ruins life's and family's. It's turned me into something I am not. I've lost my sponsor now and I'm looking for a new one. But we are still good mates, and I am going to my 1st face to face meeting today as I need to beat this so much.
I was just going to avoid coming on here, I let alot of people down, mainly myself. My kids seen me in the madness and I have to live with this all my life now. But this site helps me and I need to beat this addiction, disease. So I'm back and I'm not going to give up.