First time posting and sorry if its long.
My marriage ended 3 months ago due to my husbands repeated drug and drinking, i just couldn't take it anymore.
Hes always had problems past 5 years have been bad but the last 18months have escalated really bad. Taking cocaine and drinking. He would use after work on most days.
To the point if he doesnt have money for them he will, get intouch with doc and lie about pain or use household products (aerosols). I have tried and tried to help but it only enables him and i have to protect me and my child.
He said he would get his own place and get help - but he continued to verbally abuse me and demand things when he would come and see our child.
it rapidly changed to he now had someone else ( 4 days after i put my foot down) and 2 weeks after he left my phone.
Totally erratic of him, and never dreamed hed be so cruel.
over the past 2 months he has threatened me and continually messaged / emailed about the same things as well as sending awful abusive messages blaming me and how hes never been better and about seeing our child on his own which he isnt allowed to because of his abusive behaviours and drug issues.
What baffles me the most is , he gets in touch few times a week , either to be awful, manipulative or have my child.
He has never once asked about my child , how school is or asked if he needs anything , or paid for him. He said hes off weeeknds but never askes to speak to my son , drops off the planet all weekend but come mon /tues or wed thats when he starts - obviously on the come down.
Ive been told by authorities his behaviour is stalking behaviour . I did not reply to him for a month and the messages still kept coming , he is with someone else but i dont know alot about it.
I can only assume she is in to the drink and drugs to.
i taken legal action for a divorce and he just will not engage like an adult - yet claims hes so happy now .
Its just a constant mind game and abuse . I have no idea why he still wants to contact me knowing he isnt going to get a different answer, and legal proccedings have started, and if hes with someone else ,Im drained.
He has contacted family members to see if im upset , and slagged me off to his new person infront of them on the phone. The whole things is insidious beyond belief i just dont know who he is any more.
The whole new relationship was obviously forced to get a reaction out of me but im just so disappointed and hurt i will not engage in such behaviour.
He lies constantly , and still tries to manipulate me . Its been going on for months now.
Ive read and been told off professionals that drugs make them not of there own mind and they dont feel as non users , and hes numbing things out.
Im not after a reconciliation , as hes done to much but im so fed up now of the constant mind games and contacting me .
I really hoped hed get help , but i really cant understand why someone would choose that over their wife and child.
I always live in fear i will get a call saying somethings happened or hes dead as he always drug / drink drives, and can get involved in violent behaviour.
I dont know what advice im looking for maybe just a vent - or reassurance im not going mad. Ive noticed lots of signs of cocaine , runny nose, dilated pupils, muscle pains, stocking up on ibroprofen and cold and flu tablets, paranoia ( im cheating ), loss of appetite , more mellow , then comes the moodswings and aggression , lies , manipulation. He never has any money although works 7 days a week at the time , lost brand new cars , jobs , holiday homes , and even been to prison for a drunken attack, he has physically assaulted me also under the influence.
In past hes always been able to stop for a time and want better but this time it seems it has far far to much of a hold on him that hes took that road out , but still wants an element of control over me.
Its soul destroying seeing someone you love turn this way.