: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

12 replies

Anyone relate tho these addiction behaviours

Right does anyone relate to these behaviours from addicted loved one

They lie

They don't tell you where they are

They don't answer the phone

They make you think it's all your fault

You cant trust anything they say

They are a shell of the person you remember

They push blame onto you to people who don't know what's really going on

They do things that they would of never done before to hurt you

They don't have any empthay for your feelings

They are very selfish

They manipulate you for money then when they have what they want , they don't want to know you

Please add to these

replying to paul0572

I think you have covered them all

Hope you are okay

replying to paul0572

Not really . Sold our house yesterday . She's staying in her nans , was texting her and she said she's going to bed now so she will speak to me in the morning ....then at 3am she was knocking on my door waiting to come in and for me to pay for her taxi, as she wasn't in her nans she had being doing coke all night with her friend ! I couldn't believe she just couldn't tell me where she was , it's no big secret now ! But yet they have to lie about everything .

replying to paul0572

The thing is I didn't walk away from her , I wanted to help her . But because I told her family thinking they would help , she turned it round on me and our relationship that is the problem and I'm just over exaggerating...now they all hate me . She tells me that she wants her old life back with me then 1 day later she doesn't want to know me and shes never been happy with me ...it's just heart breaking and yes I feel so lonely. And the thing is, we were everthing to one another and now she doesn't even care how I'm feeling and how sad I am

replying to paul0572

Give it time you will start to separate your feelings I promise

replying to paul0572

Why does she turn up here when she's high , and why does she want help when he's high ? But not when she's sober ?

replying to paul0572

Because you are her crutch

replying to paul0572

All of these behaviors ring a bell with me and my situation. It’s so nice to have others that understand.

I have been struggling trying to figure out what happened to my life in the weeks leading up to discovering my husband was using cocaine and what has happened ever since.

My husband and I were (so I thought) happily together for 3 and a half years. We would always tell each other how lucky we were and planned an entire future together. We had many goals and dreams of moving to Hawaii and starting a family.

This year he started a new “job”. There were red flags right away as his new “boss” was keeping him out partying until 5,6,7 in the morning. He said he needed to impress the boss and they were “networking”. These nights would randomly happen from time I time over a few months. The problem is he had not been paid over the course of the entire time. It was a sales position but there were no sales made and we hadn’t received any money for 6 months (my husband was at the office working 7 days a week for 12 hours a day trying to get this business going).

I tried my best to be supportive but this was so frustrating. Fast forward to March and my husband was still doing super sweet things for me like hanging up pictures of us around the house and telling me how much he loved me. A few weeks later in April he didn’t come home for a 3 day period (same time his “boss” got back to town) His phone was off and he was angry with me all of a sudden. Nothing like this has ever happened before. He blamed our sex life and said he didn’t know if he could do this anymore. A couple more weeks of him randomly coming home or not and really unusual behaviors like major mood swings, anger at me, random bursts of energy, sadness. And I found a text on our computer that said “the next time you do coke im punching you in the face” from one of his friends. It all made sense. I got him to admit he’s been using for 5 months although the said “only a couple times” which I think is a complete lie as I’m 99% sure he was on it when I found out. I’ve caught him in many lies since. I did not see this coming. Since then he’s said he cannot commit to coming home anymore. He’s said he “doesn’t see this working out” and it was “gradual” and “I don’t think it’s gunna happen” for our marriage

To me the problems only began when he started using the drug (working long hours, small personality changes like big ego and all around meaner attitude). Everyone we know would be in complete shock to hear we’re not together. Like I said completely out of no where. I’m having such a hard time trying to understand if this is him speaking this or it’s because he knows he can’t live this drug life with me. He’s pushed me away completely and I’m the only one here that loves him that sees the problem. Ive told his family in hopes they would help but they think when they talk to him “he seems fine”. The real him would never act this way or say these things. He says “we’ve never had chemistry” which is such a lie and so hurtful. He worshiped me before. Loved me so much before all this happened. Not to mention our entire savings account has been drained in the process and he has no answer to where the money went. I’m at a loss.

I understand that this all happened but when I speak to him on the phone he sounds normal so I have a hard time figuring out if this is the real him or not. I know probably not but it’s hard when you don’t have answers.

He seems completely delusional and oblivious to everything that is happening but has a new job and seems to be functioning normally otherwise. When he found out I had been prescribed anxiety medication he asked “is it because your homesick?” What?? Does he not realize that he just completely left me out of no where with no answers and all of our money is gone? Ugh.

I feel like I’m now addicted to reading stories on this forum in search of answers since he doesn’t provide me with any.

Thanks to anyone who reads it feels good to be able to relate!

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