I want to cry reading your story, so much of it is similar to me, I really feel for you and the pain she’s putting you through.
It doesn’t look like many come back from it either which I’m finding so hard to take in, I keep stupidly telling myself that he will realize I’m drifting away and fight to keep us but he won’t.
I have never had a best friend and partner like him, first person I’ve ever trusted my life with, he made me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, we thought the same, had the same values and humor, my girls adored him…and then in this last year hes given me easily the worst memories, he’s been the nastiest, stood over me watching me crying after a night of evilness telling me how I was nothing and he had wasted his life being with me, punching the sofa next to me as he spoke through gritted teeth….only to want cuddles in the morning and to “just forget it” after
And still it’s me that loves him, still waiting and watching.
I tried telling his mum as both him and his friend use in his room, she didn’t want to no, I told her the signs but she thinks coke is a scary drug and no way he would do that, a bit of weed maybe but not that!
She thinks it’s an alcohol problem…considering he guzzles crates of the stuff I can see why but that’s just part of this.
He gets high, drinks and bets all at the same time so it’s a triple whammy.
He now lives in a single room that stinks of cigarettes and beer, I’m in our lovely house with the children being mum and dad. He’s chucked a good life away and his whole world just to sit in that room with his “friend” and rant his nights away about the same old memories.
When he looses his mum he’s gonna be out on the streets because all his money goes on drugs, I just hope I’ve moved on by then.
I hope you find a way to move on too, it feels impossible to me right now, im just living one day at a time x