Oh my actual god!
They are the same!!
All I do constantly is think of another question and as soon as I get a second I’m on Google looking into it!, wether it’s help or how he’s behaving, how the drug changes him, health problems, all of it!!
Same, he said he was paid short from work, he’s driving my car so it’s free for him but he’s supposed to be giving my car back as it’s school holidays, he said he was short for insurance and has to pay his mum some too now, I no he’s spent at least 400 on his dealer (probably a lot more!)
He does a ticket every other day at least and I no he does it even though he lies to me n says he’s broke so can’t get any because I no he has a tab with the bloke, he has around 4 or 5 that supply him, he’s driven for them to pay off debts and he does work for them for freebies.
I really hope he uses his time and his new job to get sorted n us back together again, I’ve not said anything about us either, like you I’ve made it clear he needs to be sorted before we can carry on but not actually said anything, he comes and goes but we’ve not said if we miss each other.
Like yours he was let down, his dad didn’t want to no him, they had to go to court to prove he was the dad and then this year his dad moved into a house at the end of his mums road!!
Of all the bloody places!!
And on his birthday he sends a message saying if he wants to talk to him he can!!
his absence has had a massive impact on his life, I’ve sat with him when he’s been a complete mess and helped him through!
that’s why I’m shocked at how he’s behaving, he always said he would never be like this if we had a baby but I don’t think he thought about how she would fit in to his life style.
It’s as if he just thought he could do it around her n it would be fine because he would talk me into it too!!
It makes me feel sick! Like he thought we could just be some scummy family with the curtains drawn n her play while we slept!! I mean that’s just the worst thing I can imagine!!
I just don’t want to loose him, he’s not cheated on me so I feel robbed I guess, I can’t stop loving him over this, I just hate what he’s become because I knew him before.
I saw him Saturday for about an hour, he was nice enough and I helped him with his car, we’ve always gotten along fine, it’s just once he’s done instead of being bored or doing normal stuff he goes straight to that. When he left it was strange because we have always hugged n kissed but not now, it was an awkward kiss on baby’s head and a walk away. I just wanna be back in his arms!
I’ve never liked hugging people but when I met him I became so attached, we have always been close, always stood hugging each other so affectionate but it’s all gone,
I lasted until today, had no plan on contacting him but now we have no need to see each other unless I want the car or he wants to see baby so I sent him a few pictures of her from this morning.
He replied with how beautiful she is n thanked me and that was that.
And now I guess I wait?!
He’s working tonight but then off Tuesday n Wednesday,
I wish he would ask to see us but I’m expecting his mate to get there first n organize a night with him,
That’s the thing, I could always keep him clear but when his mate texts it’s always “I wanna party” or “I’m bored!” N that means one thing! And he can’t resist! As soon as that pings he’s thinking of a way to get cash or who he can tick off until next time!
I’m really missing him today so dragging one of my girls for a walk in a bit, can’t stand going out by myself, he understood that n we went everywhere together but lately he’s been quite smug that I stay in with no life, babys only just over 6 months too so I feel like a blob lol.
But that’s why I’m defying him, I’m going out walking wether I want to or not, I actually quite enjoy it but I’m a keep myself to myself type of girl.
Anyway I’m loosing weight, not as fast as I would like but quick enough, I’m sorta hoping that the rare occasions he sees me I will make him want me back, I’m here arms open.
His mates huge now, all that beer drinking, but he’s thin as can be, I got him putting weight on while we were together, he had guns n a backside but now he’s back to bones n no bum lol
Does your no loads of dealers? Makes it too easy to fall back each time?