I don't know why I'm sharing this here really. I guess to see if anyone else may relate or feel some same ways possibly? I'm 29, my mum died 3 years ago and my dad 2 years ago 4 days prior to the first anniversary of her passing. I have so much regret for wasting the time I could have spent with them. Guilt for all the times I said I'd pop round after work but went for a pint instead. I just never expected them to not be here. Anyway. I wrote something and I just wanted to put it here because I know from the other topics no one judges here and i can share it without anyone really knowing its me.
Its not a song or a poem or anything in particular just me trying to talk to my parents.... Sorry if its shit or doesn't read well Im not by any means a writer
I'd say it's hard to put how I feel into words but that's not true,
The hard part is putting into words the whole truth,
the unspoken thankyou's, the unshown gratitude, the missed opportunity's there was to repay you.
I guess the truth is I never understood the concept of life,
or realised that the most precious thing we have is time.
But I can never change how I spent mine,
Despite the tears my eyes cry,
No amount of photos on the wall can change the fact you both died.
I often wonder if I'll ever see you on the other side.
if you're watching the 3 of us from above using heaven to hide
Because sometimes at night,
when things haven't been right,
from a dark room there's been a familiar light,
Somehow I know it's you, even if the light is dim
Reminding me I still have family,
A little brother and a twin
And some boys who are more like family even if their numbers are wearing thin.
I'll use that light to guide me
even when I can't see,
Then pass it on the most beautiful girl I think the worlds ever seen
Mum and dad meet Josie, Josie Janet giles dad I think she has your laugh, and mum she has your smile,
For the first time since you left, she's made the world become clearer
I'm staring into eyes the same as mine without looking in a mirror
from her playground bumps and splitters
And for the rest of all my winters
I'll love her like you loved me and be the man you knew I was meant to