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replying to Mammyessex

I could if wrote that myself . I actually thought mine was cheating on me at first for a long while with all the secrecy and lies . It has taken me a long time to come to terms it was this because it was way down the list . I know it must be so tough but is there any peace for you with him not living with you at the minute ? X

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replying to Mammyessex

I thought cheating too ! No peace I’m constantly worried about him or thinking of him I’m absolutely drained to bits x in a way another woman would have been easier x this is my worse nightmare x

replying to Mammyessex

I agree it would of been easier and I openly said that to mine . At least we would of known where we stood , done and chapter closed .. move on . Instead we are fighting against something completely out of reach . I hope you can sleep tonight. Try and switch off even if it’s a just for a little bit xx

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replying to Mammyessex

Hi ladies

How are you?

Purpleheart - that's good news about 1 week clean. How's that going?

Mine promised no more and was back at it after a couple of days. I can't wait to get out. He is so vile when on a come down... can't stand it. Got his family coming to see him end of the week. Wish he'd admit it to them so they can try to help him.

I also have been feeling angry and resentful for the absolute shit he's putting me through, especially with the financial aspect. I spend my time worrying how to buy food and afford our child's travel costs. I've currently given up worrying about other bills.

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replying to Donthaveaclue

Hiya I feel exactly the same everyday I’m stressing over it I have enough for food which I don’t , it’s our sons birthday Saturday and I have no money for it , I’ll never understand or forgive him for putting us in this position , I really feel for you having to live with him with his comedowns etc , I’m worried every day about where mine is staying even though he’s put himself in this position , it’s no life I feel like we are all just existing , if he fails his drug test this week I’m stopping all contact with the kids x I know life’s not easy but this is just hell x well another day to get through , sending hugs x

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replying to Donthaveaclue

Helloo both , isn’t it pants :( sending you both a hug too - it’s ok this will

Work out one way or another xx

I’m not so confident over mine last couple of days I’ve seen bits that concern me - the old usual habits , staying out working till I’ve gone to bed , visited a petrol station 2 mins from dealers house yet there’s about 10 of the things from where we live to This drug Den. Just fills me full of anger and feeling blind again . Luckily the support group I’m on levels me out and been able to function and carry on with “ normal “ daily life . I’ve buried the financial trouble for another day . But my gut is Im not keep

Tolerating this shite I’ve promised myself this , I’ve made enquires - have a sort of path if it all goes off. This year is the final year I’m struggling with Cocaine in our marriage , family . Enough is enough . Mine doesn’t know this or maybe thinks I don’t have the lady balls to see it through but he’s on his last chance saloon . If he doesn’t want to try - then he deals with it alone . Im not having my years with my little kids tainted by his choices . Ha just laughed at myself spellchecking this back - I’ll probably be in tears tonight . But today I’m strong so I’ll go with that . Keep in touch - keep talking , it’s nice we can relate xxx

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replying to Mammyessex

I know this probably won’t make you feel any better but your son would rather have his mummy for his birthday any day of the year rather than any toys etc. I know kids revolve around that but he has his mum and that’s the main thing - don’t be hard on yourself xxx

replying to Purpleheart

Hi lovely thanks so much x it’s just an awful position they’ve put us in isn’t it , he’s the one who’s gave me everything I’ve wanted but it’s him taking it away I can’t believe my life is this now , I’m living week to week dreading the tests it’s just no good on any of us x love and strength to us all we are super strong living through this even if we don’t feel it , our futures will be happy with our kids , with or without them in it ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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