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replying to Purpleheart

I no I just can’t understand how he ever thought it was ok for me to be in this position my kids are my life , god I’d die for them that’s why I would never never choose to do drugs not even once that’s the difference between me and him x

1 reply

replying to Purpleheart

Mine bailed before I even gave him the option I honestly don’t know what’s worse they’ve got to no they’ve massively f. Up surely 🫠 the lies , deception sneaking around has made me not even trust my own judgement anymore if I can’t trust my childrens father and my partner of 21 years ago the hell can I trust ? Such a bloody waste I’m

Never going to accept I lost my marriage to cocaine x

replying to Mammyessex

That’s how I thought too about mine - built everything together and he’s managed to tear into it without a second thought . When I first found out about his addiction I checked my other Half’s phone in secret and the number of times he commented on msgs to his coke head friends about sitting doing “ sniff” alone I couldn’t get my head around the fact this was the same person I was married to. He told a friend he caused an argument with me one night on purpose so he could be left alone to sort himself out with a party for one . I will never forgot them messages they shattered my heart and I wondered if I ever knew the real him . Not in a million years did I think this sort of challenge would come to our door and that’s why you struggle accepting - I completely get it . You do well to get him to test , asked mine in last few days ( as some security and peace of mind we are moving forward ) he agreed but then get defensive and starts saying he look bad because He’s so tired from Over working, the twists and turns of a trapped rat that normally adds up to .

I know it’s hard and this crap fills our headspace everyday but take some time for yourself , think about the future A little ( no matter how much it stings) think about your boy and how much you adore and love him - he’s your world away from this chaos . If anything through all this trouble my husband has caused it’s made me a better mummy in ways even when I’m stressed and on edge from the flare ups . I won’t let his choices beat me and my right to enjoy my kids and then secondly my own life.

I think that not every one is like my OH , there’s alot of them but not everyone - he wasn’t once upon a time hod knows what entered his head when this started .

We’ve been dealt a bad hand of cards - but will we get through it , gritted teeth- your doing good xxx

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replying to Mammyessex

I’ve had exactly the same thoughts x we have had hard times financially years ago but I had him with me and together we got through it , now it’s caused through him , he’s lost everything we’ve built up and what for to sit and sniff ? Mine does it on

His own too x looking back over the last 18 months I’ve seen a massive decline in our relationship and not for one second did I think it was drugs , I can’t see how I’m going to get out this rut x

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replying to Mammyessex

Same with the relationship - imposter here with no connection just looks like someone I used to know ( sounds cold but that’s the reality ). I live in hope he gets clean sorts himself out and the issues related and then I hope we can maybe patch up our relationship but I have no idea how I will start with the trust thing . Feel like I’ve done it alone already if that makes sense xx

replying to Mammyessex

I’ve had exactly the same thoughts x we have had hard times financially years ago but I had him with me and together we got through it , now it’s caused through him , he’s lost everything we’ve built up and what for to sit and sniff ? Mine does it on

His own too x looking back over the last 18 months I’ve seen a massive decline in our relationship and not for one second did I think it was drugs , I can’t see how I’m going to get out this rut x

replying to Purpleheart

I’m

Not sure I could ever forgive mine , for cocaine yes I could but leaving my kids with nothing I just can’t x maybe if he realises what a huge mistake he’s made and does everything to make it up to us possibly you Just don’t know until your in that position x another woman was always my worse fear , give me that over this any day x

replying to Purpleheart

I’ve actually used the words to describe him somebody that I used to know x awful 😞

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replying to Mammyessex

Bad night tonight , can’t stop crying it’s finally hitting home that my husband isn’t here he left , he chose drugs over me ,our marriage had obviously been all a lie if he can walk away so easy , not sure I can recover from all this hurt

replying to Mammyessex

Hi Mammy, I'm so sorry to read your story. I wish I had all the answers but I wanted to know I'm thinking of you and your family.

This drug is so evil so addictive it turns our loved ones into people we don't recognise any more. It takes their souls, it's not them, it's the addiction. Deep down, they're in there, they still love you, but the need for this mistress that is cocaine is greater.

Have you read Jamesb and Danman83 posts here? They are people in recovery telling it from the other side.

For the moment, Mammy, look after yourself and your kids. He has made his choice, I pray that he comes round his senses and seeks help. When he does this, it's easier to support them.

Adfam homepage, Icarus trust and Drugfam all offer counselling if you need support and advice for yourself.

Sending you much love ❤️

Lx

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