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My husband is an addict

My husband has a cocaine addiction. I left him 2 years ago due to having enough I cheated on him no excuse I know but he was not there for me when my brother killed himself I felt I had to deal with all on my own because he was too busy taking cocaine . I left for 1 year then moved back as my teenage kids said he had destroyed the house and was just sleeping all day . I went home he has since asked me to leave every time he’s in a mood . We have sex sometimes he’s nice to me and I feel like our marriage is getting better other days he tells me I’m a flag he never wants to get back with me. He wants a divorce . Then he flips it coming onto me begging for sex and affection it’s like mind games. He’s been adding young girls on Facebook , only fans girls on Facebook messaging girls saying how gorgeous they are . I even found messages to say he’s tried it on with our neighbour for sex when they was both taking cocaine together. Is this normal behaviour for a cocaine addict ?? The man I knew would never do things like that I just thought he was trying to get revenge for my infidelity.

He’s joining sex sites dating sites . He says he’s single can do what he wants . I’ve been told he has to hit rock bottom before he gets help ? I’m just worried now that he is going to hate me forever and never get our marriage back . I love him so much I’m heartbroken it’s awful watching the man you live destroy himself . I want to be happy but I’ve nowhere to go I’m so low and depressed

replying to Themidgetgem

Hiya gem, I hope your OK. 1st off I'm 4 month and 1 week clean from cocaine. After using for 12 year. My gf kicked me out last year. She just had enough. But my life is going great now. Got my own 2 bed flat. Kids are on the couch at side of me and life is good. And I hit my rock bottom. I joined cocaine anonymous, I am doing the 12 steps I got a sponsor. I get on my knees the min I roll out of bed and pray. And I pray at night. I meditate each day. And now I live a honest life. I cut everyone off. I have new clean mates from C. A, I do meetings ect. If you want to stop and put the effort in. It will work and he will get better.

Now reading your story it's me all over. And most addict. Cocaine is a seedy drug, it makes u cheat, go to brothels, escorts, dating sites the lot. It all comes hand in hand. It's like the thrill of it all. I've done some nasty things and I wouldn't of dreamed of doing them without coke. It's ruins family's.

All I can suggest now, is if he is not willing to get help and go to a meeting or rehab. You have your own life, move on think of your own mental health and your children. You can be there for 20 year telling him he needs get help. But if he don't admit he is an addict and want help himself, your flogging a dead horse. No matter how much u love him. Think of yourself now. And your children. Your life will get better and u will get happier I promise u this. Just believe in your self. And trust what your doing is right. Hope this helps

replying to Themidgetgem

Thank you I think he’s beyond help and will only realise when it’s too late

replying to Themidgetgem

Also I am not saying he has done these things with women, escorts ect.. Just need to clarify that. I'm going off me and what other addicts share in meetings. Not everyone is the same. But it is common that alot do do.

replying to Themidgetgem

I’ve found messages on his phone and seen him on sites plus he’s tried to sleep with the neighbour when under the influence. He’s a different person he’s kicked me out today saying it’s all me so I’ve gone to a refuge he can just continue to destroy himself he’s past any help but thank you

replying to Themidgetgem

Your joking no way he's kicked you out and your in a refuge. Hope your OK. We're is it u are from

replying to Themidgetgem

From Bolton me. Not far. Have u any kids. You have somewhere to sleep tho don't you? Don't ever go back if he's doing that

replying to Themidgetgem

Yes thanks , I’ve 4 but they are all big now 18-22 they dislike him so much because of how he’s being it’s so sad

replying to Themidgetgem

Well can u not stay at there's. Horrible seeing someone get kicked out.

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