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replying to Themidgetgem

Hi themidgetgem

Hope your doing ok?

You are definitely a strong woman keep your chin up and as long as you are looking after yourself and getting on with your life then good on you. If you can do this whilst sharing a house your defo a strong woman.

I hope to be as strong as you and get this letter written soon. I’m so scared but I know it’s the right thing to do it’s just timing it.

Take care xx

replying to Jamesb

Hi James

I’ve re-read your post and I just want to ask when you have had a day & or night on cocaine do you actually wake up and remember the day before? do you know what you said? You said you feel guilty is this because you lied. I’m sorry if I’m dragging up things but your advice is very grateful

Is this why you want to sleep all day and only wake up to eat do you know this is because of your use? I’m trying to understand as today he has slept all day. I woke up not very well and had to cancel my day until my medication worked which they did 3 hours in.

He had to do a call which he did I stayed in my room then came down to get water I said to him I’m going to shower then clean upstairs he said he needed an hour which is fine. When he knew I was cleaning he got anxious. (I think I know why) white powder on floor & I found it in a cupboard!!!!! I didn’t say anything I went about getting it done he slept.

When I finished I said let’s go for lunch out he said I’m not well and went to bed (I’m sad) He was anxious around me. I felt I shouldn’t be there that I’m in the way.

I went out anyway. When I came back he was still asleep. I made dinner he ate it and has gone back to sleep is this because he took it last night and is on a come down? Does it make you sleep that much.

When did you get cravings? Is it always the same time? I know you said it’s a voice in his head and I know I have to write this letter I’m just so upset I don’t think I will ever trust him again and I don’t think he is going to be willing to be tested or talk to me about it. I guess I know it’s going to be over and I need to be prepared.

It’s also not that easy to leave as I have another situation to attend to which I have others depending on me but I also know I need to look after myself otherwise my condition is going to flare up and I’m going to be unwell.

Thank you again for your advice and guidance through my situation.

Navy xx

1 reply

replying to Navy

Hi lovely ,

I struggle with the lies the secrecy . I hate it when people say it’s not him it’s the drugs because he can make a choice and clearly chooses that over me . He sleeps all day too . There’s no conversation there’s no nothing , I’d leave but why should I leave my home because he chooses drugs over his family

I hope you get the answers you need

Take care xxx

replying to Themidgetgem

Hi there

I hope your doing ok? I need to vent I hope this is ok.

I’ve had enough now, today has been awful, I’ve been trying to keep it together but I can’t no more, I have to tell him that I know he is still using it’s all over the house, his attitude stinks, his behaviour is awful.

I’m breaking my heart, I’m sobbing as I write this as he’s gone to bed feeling unwell, he’s Stressed out, he’s done to much!!!!

I think I’m broken, I have to tell him tomorrow. I can’t live like this. He makes me feel that this is my fault that everyone is against him, no one loves him he is on his own.

. OMG I started my day at 6am and got back to the house at6.30pm, cooked, washed up and made box for tomorrow all whilst he watched and complained about everyone and everything. As I’m tyding up I find the white stuff on my units and on the floor! He can’t even see it. Aaarrrggghh

I know I have to tell him now, I’m just so scared of what he might do, oh god why do I feel like this, he is a grown adult he needs to be told.

Thank you for listening I’m feeling a little better since writing this down and sharing

Hope everyone out there is doing ok and looking after themselves xx

1 reply

replying to Navy

Hi lovely ,

Please don’t feel bad ! This is him not you . It’s his choices his behaviour you cannot control how he behaves you can only control how you react . I spoke with the police a few months ago and they told me that addicts need to hit Rick bottom before they finally realise and act for themselves ! Only them can change their behaviour and habits , nothing you do or say will work o my he can decide to change . You are strong and you will get through this . He will realise in his time

Hope this helps

Take care lovely xxx

replying to Themidgetgem

Hi lovely

It’s early hours and I can’t sleep, I feel so sick right now. Thank you for posting, I just feel so upset that this is going to effect so many people when I tell him that I’m leaving, he needs professional help if he wants to come off this drug, it’s not as easy as he made out to me. I knew that really when I read all these posts of what others are going through and website that I read trying to understand. I’ve been naive and stupid.

I’m going to get help for myself today to help me tell him how I feel and that I’m not coming home until he gets help and he has to prove this to me if he wants me back as I don’t trust him anymore as he has lied to me. I can’t just forget this.

Hope you are doing ok? Has he left or are you still living separate lives, I feel for you and your children, stay strong xxx

2 replies

replying to Navy

You are a strong lady !!

I wish I could just leave but I really don’t want to leave my home . I wish he would just go and leave me and my boys to have a happy life . He’s going out tonight with his friend and family I’m hoping he cheats on me (not that he thinks it is cheating because he’s single ) . I just want a normal life with a man who treats me right and isn’t a cocaine addict

I hope your okay today xxx

replying to Themidgetgem

Hi lovely

I’m not very well. I’ve cried all day on & off. I’ve thought how I’m going to talk to him but again I’ve got home and he’s not well and back in his room. I know he struggling with his dad death but everyone goes through this I know it just an excuse

I’m struggling I just wish he wouldn’t lie to me and tell me he still takes it. Why can’t I just call him out what’s wrong with me!!!!! I want to scream at him. I feel helpless. I know I’m going to crack at some point. Thank you for being there for me.

Will keep you updated how I’m getting on.

Thank you. Stay strong and just keep yourself and boys safe

Lots of love & hugs xxx

replying to Navy

I’m having a nightmare

I managed to get to leave the house for a couple of hours but it turned out that He said I don’t love him because he is unwell all the time!!!

But I know the reason is because of cocaine not because he is actually unwell. He has sinus infection and hayfever. He feels down!!! He’s hungry he has eaten a Dinner and I’ve just made him sandwiches I’m breaking my heart. I have to tell him I know he still taking it!!!

I’m so scared of what he might do!!

OMG I feel sick can somebody give me a way out.

Why has my life turned out like this what have I done?

I need to take deep breaths and confront this demon

I’m so tired of fighting

Thank you for listening and sorry for rambling and still not doing what needs to be done xx

replying to Navy

Oh my lovely my heart breaks for you ! I know it’s hard I really do but it is not your fault it is his his choices !

You are strong and if you feel you want to support him and stay you do that . At the end if the day we love them and it makes it harder

I hope your okay but please remember none of this is your fault xxx

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