Chat to others: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

I am absolutely broken today.

Over the weekend whilst I was away for the night my husband had a massive relapse and it ended up with him going to his parents house.

He has said for a few days but I am so scared he won’t come home.

I know it’s the right thing to do for him and he has told his parents everything which he has kept hidden (we have kept hidden from them) for years.

I told him I wouldn’t contact him unless he contacted me first.

I’ve not heard from him since he left and it’s absolutely killing me.

Over time he’s always thrown it in my face that I don’t understand him - that it’s just who he is - that we are different people …. All in relation to his addictions and he’s said it is a defence mechanism but I can’t help but sit here thinking it’s my fault.

He has said he loves me and will come back and for the first time he has admitted he’s an alcoholic. Or has he described a functioning alcoholic

I have spent all morning crying in bed

I don’t know what to do

Hi, sorry to hear you are going through this, my husband also describes himself as a functioning alcoholic, he walk out a few times, spending the night in a hotel, and blaming me for the reasons. I don’t contact him when this has happened. We try and talk when he comes back and he is apologetic and things are Nice for a time. Try focus on something to keep yourself busy is my best advice, I find reading or a puzzle, but I also have two young children so I focus on activities with them. I don’t know of I been any help but you are not alone x

Hi

Thanks

Monday i was a mess.

Yesterday was a little easier and I focused on tidying the house etc

Then he asked to come home

I am picking him up today

We have hardly spoken since Sunday apart from the odd text.

He’s made some very positive steps the last few days and I do think this time feels slightly different as he has puts steps in place to get help. And his parents now know everything, and I guess now they know we have their support but also he will know he has to stay clean/sober for them too as well as me and the kids.

I’m under no illusion it’s going to be rainbows and unicorns and magical from here on in.

I spent an hour talking to his mum last night while he was at the cinema with his dad. It felt really good to be able to talk to her and her tell me things.

I told her all the stuff he’d said to me about it being my fault, leaving me, etc - and she said he’s been saying the exact opposite to them. That he loves me, he can’t imagine life without me, and that he takes advantage of my love for him which he knows is wrong

He’s waiting for a call back from a service through work to start counselling. They’ve said he can have 7 free sessions. So see what happens

That’s great news, so positive he has started the steps to recovery. So nice his parents are supportive of you both. Unfortunately for me his dad knows but I can’t talk to him cos he is nasty about it, it’s actually one of my husbands triggers.

Ah I’m sorry about that that’s awful he can’t be supportive

It’s been a couple of very strange days

It’s not going to be sunshine and rainbows I know but we are a few days down the line and on the right path for now

And you always got the support on here. Fingers crossed he keeps on the right path.

Thank you.

I feel like I’m on eggshells a little not knowing what to say or do

The eggshells feeling is not good.

Make sure to seek whatever help and support you can for yourself.

Thanks

I will

We had another chat last night

I guess it’s important we keep talking.

I told him I’m sorry if I say the wrong things etc and we just need to keep telling each other how we feel