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Posts by Buster

joined

1 posts in 1 threads

Codeine addicted wife by

I’ve only just found this forum and if I don’t share my story I think I’ll scream. I am mentally exhausted and feel trapped. For the past 5 years I’ve watched as my wife has changed from the vibrant, funny and healthy woman I married into someone with potential serious health issues who is increasingly a stranger. A year ago, after 4 years of knowing in my heart there was something else at play, my wife confided in me she had a codeine addiction. Despite promises of stopping and attending rehab to get help, it continues on and now there’s other drugs at play. She’s mixing with cocaine use and periodically cannabis. She arranges pick ups and drop offs of drugs - I’ve been tempted more than once to call the police to catch her as I think maybe only then might the shock of it get through to her what she’s doing. The lies, the movement of money, the mood swings, the vile language and name calling when she’s high, the shouting, the apathy. Its tearing our relationship apart. Im covering for her with her work colleagues, her family and to protect our kids. Im deeply ashamed, frustrated, and angry that the woman I love, who holds down a professional job, is stuck on this path and seemingly content to live like this. There is no intimacy, we’re like housemates, and this is after a happy 18 years of marriage, healthy and active sex life. It started after a workplace bullying incident, where she was the victim, and got moved to a different team. At the time she was physically sick and experiencing pain, from that point our life together has changed. Her focus from that time is on pharmacy and doctor shopping, and eating. She’s gained 25-30 kilos, lost interest in pretty much everything, her friends and her appearance. Our kids talk to me and express their worry about mums weight. Her family talk to me also. She lives in a cloud of food, reality tv bing watching and cough syrup. I knew within 2 months of this event five years ago that something was wrong but the wall has been up since then and she wouldn’t talk to me despite repeated efforts on my part. In fact she convinced me it was all in my head and I was making it up. After 2 years of no intimacy, no deep conversation, and not knowing if we’d ever get our relationship back on track I had a mental health breakdown and was put on anti depression medication. I’m grateful for this as I was at the lowest point I had ever been and with no one to talk to about what I suspected was going on. I needed to be strong for my kids and buffer them from mums increasingly erratic mood swings. After about 14 months of taking medication, I stopped after I found a sports bag my wife had hidden full of codeine filled cough syrup. I confronted her and said it was stop or I’m leaving and taking the kids with me. It wasn’t in my head, I wasn’t making it up, I wasn’t crazy as my wife would say to me. She said she’d get help and stop but she just became sneakier. I love her but my heart is broken. I’m in my early 40s, keep myself in shape and crave a loving physical relationship and now I feel like I’m existing with a house mate who has no interest in anything much. I can’t leave - I think that would cause my wife to self harm, I need to be here to protect and guide our kids. But I’m hurting and not sure how to turn all this around if my wife isn’t interested in changing. Thank you for reading - just having found a space to let this out helps.

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