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Posts by Cali111

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31 posts in 14 threads

My husband left a week after I found out about his cocaine use by

I know it is probably impossible to find the answers I’m looking for but I find myself constantly searching. We had a very happy marriage and never would I have believed my husband would ever touch a drug. After starting a new job with a guy who he now refers to as a “narcissistic drug addict” I found out he had been hiding this “occasional” cocaine use from me for 5 months. It was in the couple weeks before I found out that I think it got really bad. He stopped coming home and was basically hiding from me. I hadn’t done anything but he blamed me said he needed space. He was so mean. Said he just didn’t care about my feelings anymore. So I left for the weekend to a friends only to find out he went out of town to party and do coke all weekend. He doesn’t even remember admitting to me that he used for 5 months. He doesn’t remember the simplest things anymore. He’s just gone off and started a new life in the matter of weeks between confessing his undying love for me to leaving the house for good. I think he is ashamed of what he’s done. I think he cheated and obviously has lied a million times. I just don’t understand how someone can walk out on their life like that. We had so many goals and plans and they were instantly just torn away. I never knew cocaine could take a hold like this on someone. Well I assume that’s what it is as he is a total different person and can’t even look at me anymore. Just trying to get through my school right now and take it day by day I guess… what do you do when your entire future has just vanished before your eyes? I’m sure many of you can relate… peace and love to all xox

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5 years in by

Yes everything is so secretive… I have no idea what he’s been doing for months but he insists on knowing what I’m doing. In a way it must be nice to know that she still loves you and wants to be with you. My husband is still decided that he doesn’t think our marriage will work. Yet has never said he doesn’t love me or anything. But refuses to put any work into it or even be honest. Trying to tell myself it’s for a reason. I miss the old him so much though. My whole life feels like it’s crumbled before my eyes. Him and his family have been everything to me as I immigrated to the US to be with him. This has been so hard.

My husband and cocaine by

Thank you so much for your reply. It’s so reassuring to know others can see my perspective and understand. The amount of times I’ve had to think “I’m not crazy am I?” Because this has all just been so insane and irrational. I relate so much to the comments Ash made. Ugh. So sad. I just pray for his own health and life he can somehow pull out of this one day. So scary to think some can’t. Just learnt of an old friend from back homes overdose today. Mentioned it to my husband. He is just so monotone about everything right now. Hope you’re doing okay and glad you were able to pull yourself out and into a safe space xo

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