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Posts by Cathsp


42 posts in 7 threads

struggling with loved ones addictions by

Welcome aboard Newbie. I am so saddened to hear your story and the mental anquish you are experiencing. Your son is vulnerable for sure and you be thankful he has someone like you in his corner. You clearly love and care for him and from reading your post That is not in question. Disability, mental health and drug misuse is some serious issues to be trying to manage. Any one of these issues is a tall order. You need to be kinder to yourself it maybe that according to your son you cant do right for doing wrong. But thats not true. Not even for a second. It hard to change someone who does not want to change. You dont need to give up on him, just be kinder to yourself. If we change our behaviour it can help to change his. I know that your focus is HIM but there is no quick fix. Treat yourself and do something for YOU asap. I know it might not be how you feel but as they say "Fake it until you make it" Go a walk, play music, keep posting and phone Adfam to get support for yourself. Do everything you can think that will refresh your body, mind and soul. Keep doing it and your respite, healing and restoration will start to happen bit by bit. minute by minute. Then you will get more times when you are physically and mentally stronger. We are listening, we will walk with you, where and when we can. Take care

by BT1978

1 of 6 posts

How has it come to this ? by

It’s a difficult question with multiple layers. I workEd with a worker and we did CRAFT together. It helpEd both, me and my son. It was individual tailored made sessions. It was educational and aimed at helping me whilst educating both of us. I know I cant wait around changing my life to enable him. We All need to be supported to continue our self care and life whilst caring for someone who needs care and help. It’s stressful for sure and they may never give up their addictive behaviour. Keep reaching out. Keep posting keep believing. There is a silent army of people on this site that will support you and walk some of the way with YOU and ME Take care

by Kklost

2 of 10 posts

Dual Diagnosis by

Dear Scraggs I have been where you have been. It’s heart breaking. I know. There are places that help. Turning Point is a good support for you and your son. Adfam and SFAD are agencies that got me through my darkest moments. And still do. I did the CRAFT work and it helped me change and believe it or not helped him change even temporary ( 2 years) I intend to do that work over again to help me and my son with the next bit. Debts, making his home look like a drug den. No washing, no eating, been there. My son been shot, had his face all slashed, lost a finger. Oh, yes. Not so long ago that I have forgotten. You keep reaching out to ensure that you don’t lose yourself in the process. No easy answers IM afraid. Kel1 wrote me some questions in the reply to my post. It’s from the Steps or Craft programme. They might be the beginning of helping you. Keep posting there is a silent army of Carers with a wealth of experience Real first hand experiences willing to support you. U r not alone

3 of 6 posts

Cocaine Husband by

cocaine husband Lockdown has been hard and all of the issues you experienced have been worsen. I am sorry to hear that things have been extremely difficult for you and you wee boy. In respect of legal route I don't think you will have any issues with ironing out a supervised plan maybe use a Contact Centre. Woman Aid have an outreach service that will support and understand exactly "where you are coming from" and the fears you expressed. They will be able to advise re: lawyers too. In addition its website also have a great Freedom Programme that you can do online too. It sounds like your husband is emotional abusive and controlling and all that blame will "Get to you" eroding your self confidence and belief in yourself. As for the cocaine husband- its impossible to reason with someone who is "out their face" or live is "a drug/cocaine". I think you will need to time to-morn the man you loved and lost (so to speak). Mourn the dreams you had of a happy life together. And remind yourself none of this is your fault. You are worth so much more. And keep posting

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