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Posts by Chelsie

joined

8 posts in 6 threads

Advice please :) by

Hi thanks so much for the replies - yes he is on the 12 step programme he is getting close to the amends process and has started some initial statements to people . He says he knows what he did in addiction was disgusting and he has said that none of it was my fault ( he blamed me continually in addiction and was emotionally and mentally abusive very often psychotic and paranoid also ........it was a living hell ) . I don’t know where the man I married is or who he even was now

2 of 4 posts

Partner is a cocaine addict, I don’t know what to do. by

Hiya I recently went through this experience with my husband for almost 2 years who started drinking more and more heavily and then ended up with a hideous daily cocaine addiction during which time he became more and more abusive deceitful and manipulative - it will get worse and worse and worse until some event will happen or he will hit rock bottom . I would say if he’s trying to hide or deny this and things are being left around and money is going missing his habit has got really bad my husbands was like this at the end - his nose was completely blocked daily dripping blood he couldn’t even speak properly as he was putting this stuff up his nose and damaging it daily . Eventually his job and business was going down and everyone close was starting to get affected by his abnormal and antisocial behaviour - he completely broke me and tore apart my character making arguments on purpose to give him and excuse to drink or use and tormenting me with false accusations and blame continually for his ‘ unhappiness ‘ which literally came from nowhere we had A happy life he created delusions and had psychotic episodes around these delusions t detract from what he was actually doing . From your post it looks like you’re being pulled down with him like I was - please please please make sure you prioritise yourself unless he wants to get help and there’s a significant degradation/ rock bottom life experience for him he will NOT stop and there’s nothing you can do to stop him his drugs are his number one priority so you need to somehow make yourself number one so he doesn’t drag you down too . Get as strong and detatched as you can , formulate a plan if you can somehow let someone know what’s going on so you have some real life support or join a support group online ( I have done this through details I got on this site ) so you can Talk to someone about your experience and they can help you . If he loses you that maybe enough for him to want to get clean but on the road he’s going down it’s just going to get worse - thinking of you it’s a really horrid place to be and you don’t deserve it at all

by Hox 26

1 of 4 posts

First meeting with addict husband since discovery day by

Myself and my husbands family performed an intervention to prove his significant addiction to alcohol and drugs after which he left the house and has been in a programme daily since . Due to the abuse I suffered ( verbal emotional and financial ) and the impact on the family I have not seen him since and we have barely spoken I have chosen to be no contact with him to recover myself and try to heal the family from the trauma he wreaked over our lives for 18 months . He has now been clean for 8 weeks and wants us to meet up on our wedding anniversary. I haven’t replied our wedding was a beautiful day which we both dearly loved and is special to us but I seriously don’t feel like any kind of celebration or marking of this after what has happened as I am still very hurt and betrayed by what he has done to us - has anyone had this sort of scenario before ? Does anyone have advice ? Thank you

1 of 1 post

New ways of dealing with addiction within the Pandemic by

Oh this is so awful I’m so sorry he’s gone backwards . My husband has been out of the house and on a 12 step programme clean for 2 months but this is absolutely my biggest fear - That he is clean for sometime behaves like the ‘ model husband’ and a changed man but is still lying and deceiving . I don’t have much advice to offer you as I’m not in that position yet but I can so see it happening and it’s so worrying . My husbands ‘ shock ‘ using was a relapse but after 14 years ! He was 7 years clean when I met him and we’ve been together 7 years so for me this is like the first time of him using even though it’s a relapse for him if you see what I mean but it is probably the reason this petrifies me again - can he go another 14 years and then destroy everyone’s lives again :( For cocaine addicts is it always like a ticking time bomb that they will inevitably relapse ? Hugs to you 18 years is a long tine to be dealing with this x

by SusieQ

1 of 6 posts

Cocaine Psychosis and Blame by

It’s like a bad nightmare you cannot believe it is happening to you and everyone around you like you say who is actually your ‘ husband ‘ , someone you loved and trusted could betray and hurt you and everyone close to you as a couple so badly and still continue to lie and manipulate around it - he still lied even when we had the evidence and now he is on the program is trying to get sympathy off others by saying he ‘tried to tell people what was a going on ‘ absolute lie he denied and blamed the whole way through !! And that he is ill and that he is not getting the support And sympathy he would get if he had ‘ cancer ‘ and not this illness - I’m sorry but I’ve known many cancer sufferers and not one of them has gone around stealing , lying , slandering and destroying people due to their illness !! I don’t know why addicts could be surprised not to get the same ‘ sympathy ‘ as people with terminal illnesses get - do they not understand the damage their behaviour has done across a sustained period of time ? So tragic

by Hox 26

2 of 4 posts

Cocaine side affect by

My cocaine addict ( now estranged ) husband accused me of cheating in the most unbelievable bizarre situations when I did nothing wrong just worked looked after house and kids - every man I spoke to or worked with or even had added in my social media I was definitely meeting in secret according to him not only did he persecute and insult me about this he investigated my male friends and colleagues on social media threatening to contact them - it was absolute hell and so humiliating I am convinced this was delusional paranoid psychosis caused by cocaine . In addition to this he also started ‘ investigating ‘ past relationships I had before I met him - stalking my ex husband and boyfriend on social media asking millions of questions and calling me names ( ludicrous was his ‘ past ‘ is horrendous in comparison ! ) every day was a living hell ..... I feel your pain everyone on this thread I wouldn’t wish it on anyone so unjustified and cruel

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