Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by DNAnon

joined

115 posts in 65 threads

Lapsed again on coke :( by

Hi Danman, not been on here for a bit but so glad you are staying strong and preparing well for your holiday. I hope you have a fantastic time as you definitely deserve it. Things have improved and our son is back in contact with us. He is back working and seeing his kids every weekend. He is looking well and has put a bit of weight on. So all is going well at the moment. Georgia, so sorry to hear about your bf. He was doing so well, 6 months. I suppose the relapse was going to happen. I am sure it must be so frustrating for you, especially after so long. I don't know what you have decided to do but wonder whether it is worth you sticking around to support him after the relapse. Also understand if you decide you have had enough. Hox, nice to see you are still helping others with your advice. I hope you are keeping well and moving on with your life - it's about time!

by

1 of 69 posts

Cocaine and my son by

Hi Bruno, I am in a similar situation to yourself. My son is 32 and a cocaine user for 10 years. We have supported him in many ways same as you. A couple of weeks ago he turned up at our house as he had split from his partner. He stayed for a couple of weeks but we think he was still using whilst here. It didn't work out and he is back with his partner. It has broke our hearts to watch him lose his house, relationships and his kids over the years. He has never robbed from us but a family member loaned him some money and he hasn't paid it back. All I can say is it doesn't matter what you do for him, if he doesn't want to stop and change his life he won't. With regard to yourself we went to counselling through the local drug and mental health service. I found it helpful talking to the counsellor about our son's addiction. Not sure what CGL is but it sounds like it's a start. Our son went to our local NHS drug and mental health service but he stopped attending sessions. Feel free to ask any more questions and hope this helps.

by Bruno

1 of 6 posts

Back home by

Hi Hox, think we are both right. He has been living with us some of the time and returning to his partner, mainly at the weekend. He doesn't seem to go out all night with any mates. Think he probably takes it at her house but not sure if she does as she drops him off early in morning. We haven't been able to speak to him properly at all. He arranges to have his kids at our house at the weekend but just about turns up sat morning in time for when they arrive. He is usually still hyper but later in day falls asleep. This is not what he should be doing when having his kids. Today he was supposed to be working and coming home to ours for tea and sleeping. No response all day to our calls or texts. He hasn't been looking after himself and his excema has flared up. Washed all his clothes as they were dirty. No discussion when he came back why has hasn't spoken to us properly for the last 6 months. Not sure where to go from here with him, if he comes home. His partner has bought a blow up mattress and new bedding for his kids to stay here but supposed to be discussing this tonight with him. She has now gone away until Sunday. Sorry for ranting. Thought he had come home to sort himself out but doesn't seem like it.

2 of 3 posts

Lapsed again after 4 week. by

Hi Danman, so you have been here before. Just do what you do to pick yourself up and get back on track. Each time it's just a one off and it makes you feel s--t. Again don't get too down on yourself. Turn it around and as you said get back to basics again. Think of that holiday to Turkey and keep focussed. How long is it off now? Just to throw you a positive I have seen my son a couple of times now and had some hugs. Not seeing or speaking to him as often as I would like but it's a massive improvement. Your advice has helped me hang in there and your advice helps so many others on this forum. You make sure you keep talking to your mum too. There is another bank holiday in May coming up - is there any way that you could prepare yourself so you avoid another relapse?

Am I doing right thing ? by

Hi Jennifer, I can't remember how old your son is, although I know it doesn't matter. However, it does sound like he has gone much worse and I can understand how it can be unbearable. Is there another close family member he could stay with. Would it be worth giving him an ultimatum and saying either he sorts himself out or he will have to leave. We were fortunate that our son has a girlfriend who took him in. We don't have much contact with him and I suspect he is still using but in one way it is easier as we don't worry what state he will will be in, like we did when he was living with us. All I know is that no matter what we did our son would choose drugs so as others have said on here unless he wants to stop himself there is very little you can do. You will never stop worrying but perhaps it's time to focus on yourself. You take care.