Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by DaveD


5 posts in 4 threads

Blame by

Addicts always blame others for their actions, and It's never their fault. They tend to have a victim mentality and make others feel like they don't do anything to support them. I was like him when I was an addict. What's the reason for his relapse, do you know? Other than blaming you. Most of the time, when someone relapses, it's because he doesn't have support from people who can understand him. That's why talking to people or someone who's been where he is can make the difference between relapsing or not. When an addict gets emotional about something, it can trigger the urge to go back to drugs or alcohol. That's how we deal with our emotions. It can be anything like joy, sadness, pain, you name it. Facing our emotions and reality can be too much sometimes. That's why it's essential to have a support group of some sort or someone to talk about it. When I help someone, I always try to get rid of the victim mentality before supporting him. It's easier for me to do that because I had that mentality too. I understand that you feel alone, and it's hard to understand what addiction is, especially if you have never been addicted to hard drugs. Even if he blames you for his relapse, it's not your fault, far from it. Sometimes addiction gets the upper hand, and to convince ourselves that it's not our fault, we'll blame others. He's the one making a choice. He chooses his own actions and has to be strong enough to realize that he's the one responsible for his life. Telling him that you would like to understand what he's going through might help him and you, but in the end, it's all up to him to get help and stay clean. I hope you feel a little better. Have a nice day.

1 of 2 posts

Smile by

It's pretty hard for an addict to realize what's going on around him. Nothing he does is ever his fault, and no matter how you approach him, he will feel like you're attacking him. I don't know if he admits that he has a problem, but it might be time for him to get help if he does. Being supportive is excellent, but there's so much you can do. Talking to someone who's been where he is can be beneficial for him and you. That's why I'm writing to you. We have to look deeper than the cocaine addiction. Cocaine is the band-aid that hides a deeper scar. Depression, low self-esteem, low self-confidence are all after-effects of cocaine use. They can be highly damaging to him and his surrounding. As I can read, it has already begun. You wrote that he's willing to talk about it to sort things out. It might be a good time to see if he's ready to get help for his addiction. Ask him in a non-confronting way, of course. Addicts need support from people who understand what they're going through and who's better than an ex-addict. If he doesn't want help or thinks he doesn't need help, you can't, unfortunately, do anything more. He has to be ready to get clean for himself and be dedicated to his well-being. You need to make a decision that will benefit you and your family. Trust is something that is built with concrete actions and not words. It's never easy to live with an addict because you never know if he's lying or not. Remember that an addict lies to be able to continue his addiction. He doesn't realize how much he's hurting the people closest to him. His addiction is the number one thing, and everything else is secondary. I hope that you'll have a positive talk with him and I wish you the best. Have a great day.

by Smile

1 of 6 posts

Is this an addiction? by

Hi, If you can't go without it every weekend, then it's an addiction. Addiction creeps on you little by little, and it can turn into something bigger. Try going without it for one weekend and if it works, go for a second and so on. There's one thing I realized when I got rid of my addictions is that quitting is not the hard part. Not relapsing is the hard part. I know it looks like there's no difference between the two, but trust me, there is. There is one way to get rid of an addiction, and I tell everyone who comes to me for help the same thing. Quit! Stop! That's it. Of course, that's the big picture. There are some things to take into consideration and a little more to it, but I will not get into details here. When you get the urge to do some cocaine, you need to talk to someone who walked in your shoes, someone who got rid of his addiction and knows what you're going through. You need support. Many people relapse because they don't have someone who understands them. Most of the time, talking about your urges and how you feel about them is all it takes for your urges to pass. Now don't get me wrong, when you're in the withdrawal stage, it's a little more complicated, but thats not what I'm talking about here. Of course, there's a deeper cause that makes you consume cocaine, and as soon as you know the exact reason why you do it, you'll be able to get rid of your addiction with less resistance. On a personal basis and in my own opinion, it's a problem when you take drugs by yourself. You might want to talk to someone about it and try to find out what made you start using cocaine in the first place. That's one of the hard parts, but you need to look into it. Some people think that taking cocaine once in a while or on weekends is not a problem. But take it from me, that's precisely how I started, and I became an alcoholic with an uncontrollable cocaine addiction for more than 20 years. I hope it helps, and I wish you the best.

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