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Posts by Dfh


40 posts in 19 threads

Girlfriend with multiple addiction problems by

Well coming from someone in your shoes you absolutely need to get custody. Her sole purpose in the short term is going to be maintaining this habit. She can't sort herself out unless she admits a problem and most definately can't do it without intervention from professionals. From your point of view your responsibility is your son. She can only be responsible for herself right now. You have to sell the idea it's best for your son and her if he's at home. That her mum won't figure it put if he stays with you etc. I know exactly how you feel, I have 3 kids and an addict husband. I've just had to remove an entire overdraft to stop it from ending up spent and now having to do various weird things to safeguard property, vehicles and possessions. It's madness. It never stops. I just do what I have to to keep family together and life as normal as possible. I try to keep family life and his antics separate so that family life goes on regardless and if he does silly stuff it doesn't affect us too much. I call it damage limiting. You having your son limits damage to all of you, you can care for and distract him while his mum either gets help or self destruct. Either way he won't be as affected than if he was watching it all unfold first hand. Hope this helps

Addicted husband and domestic violence by

Just seen this. You want the truth from someone who has been there? Leave, take your kids and leave. Do not stay. You will get help financially in benefits and emotional support from women's aid who are amazing. He is not worth this, and if you stay you end up worse off. Social services WILL get involved and you will be forced to choose him or them. Get out while you can. I'd you need any info or support just let me know. Please stay safe x

by Rani123

1 of 7 posts

Still going strong after my lapse 5 week ago! by

I really couldn't be assed doing all that again if I'm honest, I can't even bring myself to drink much - alcohol leads to other idiotic behaviour and I know it's not what I want. Dont get me wrong i have great memories from my party days, but I'd rather be clear headed and still have money in my pocket the next day and be able to have a good time with my kids. I've told myself I've grown out of stupid stuff!! I've not done stupid stuff for nearly 3 years now and I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. I still get the odd impulse but I deal with it. Life's for living but not for playing Russian roulette with. Kids come first all day long and no way am I going to take risks that affect them.

Need help by

Hi, Have you thought about asking your gp to refer you to pain therapy? You are in actual pain so it wouldn't be beneficial for you to not have pain relief however codeine is not a viable long term pain relief because of the addiction (your liver creates morphine from the codeine) so you would need specialist pain therapy to find something more suitable. This is absolutely something that can be resolved, you just need access to the right help. Speak to your gp, they would (should) never dismiss your pain or your fears and wouldn't leave you with no pain relief at all. Hope you get this sorted out.

by Pudding

1 of 3 posts

Any advice at all by

Hi, sorry your sister is in this situation. I think there are links to support on the home page for this website. Usually local councils have outreach services for families of addicts, try under the carers section. My local council has one called CASH. There will be something close to her it's just finding it that's a bit tricky! If you are in Lancashire it will be CASH. Google it and it will at least give you an idea of what to look for. In the meantime your sister needs to step away from her partners chaos. She doesn't need the stress. I've been in her position a few times, including with a new baby and no job. I'm still in that position but I have taken a step back. I'm glad she has you, you sound like a fab support. I'm on here everyday if you need anymore help xx

by DNAnon

1 of 3 posts