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I start volunteering at cgl in two weeks helping others. I want to get qualified in helping others like myself. Gonna push towards a social worker degree in the long run

Sometimes it is yes. I'm still tarred with that brush of being a drug user and having abusive treats. Which they was mentally I guess... The hardest bit was forgiving and letting go. Also forgiving myself especially while she hasn't so it took a bit longer but then you accept some things can't be changed. That's as the hard bit and for her to hate me like she feels she has too she has to still tar me with that brush... She admitted that at court. In the end i got what I wanted and things are working for the kids now which is good but we barely speak. I had to get a child arrangement order and court went well especially when I could prove I was clean. I'm actually starting a social worker course in September and maybe I'll be help people like myself and give something back.

Hi Red, What a predicament you are definitely in... Such horrible timing as well. Best thing you can do is focus on you and the baby and ignore his behaviours till after the baby is here. You don't want to be stressing yourself out and he's also not going to change in such little time. The good news from this is you know when he's doing it! You know he's actually doing it and you know he is going to come back as well. But don't condone his behaviour and tell him when the baby is here you are going to address it all.. Take that for now but when the baby is here you can decide what you want. Addiction is awful.

So I'm in the run up to my big landmark. Was 11 months clean last week. Going out for a meal next month at 12 months clean The closest people too me my gf and my family and a few close friends to celebrate

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Alot of his behaviour sounds narcissistic actually. He is tearing you apart I can see it in what you write. He's scared to live without you but also loves the drug hence why he keeps doing it. You need to get strong and be able to focus on yourself for a while. He will choose the drug because it's selfish it's all typical cocaine addiction behaviour the disappearing for days... The lying... I bet who you confront him about it he turns it on you. It's all the same. You need to get strong and walk and I know it's hard but it won't change especially if he doesn't want too. This is from me I'm a cocaine addict who is clean and living a better life but it took mountains for me to get where I am. What made me stop my wife left and o knew she was serious. I said cocaine will not take anything else from me. So now I stay clean and always will be for me and my children. Here if you need any advice or have questions. You are not at fault. Do not enable his behaviour and borrow him money or put up with it because it won't get any better. Sorry for being blunt.

If he's gonna stop he had to face demons and be true to himself. Took me to lose absolutely everything to stop and I'm clean. My ex wife gave me chance after chance and that wasn't enough for me to stop. Your husband will love you but it's not enough for him to stop. My only experience is hitting rock bottom and that was enough for me to say no more i don't want this life anymore and I did it. 22 attempts to quit before this one and this one is successful. I've accepted to myself that I have to have a drug free life forever and that I will never go through what I went through ever again. It's just one of them things but getting off it was the biggest mountain I climbed in my life. I won't even have a bet and won't engage in anything that is addictive. You have to make a choice. He won't come off it nor will anyone till they are completely ready themselves...

Now is the best time to stop reason being:- I used to be triggered by my old environment where I used to live. Now am away I don't get triggers. But it's honestly the best time so you don't create a habit in your new house. Keep going and don't get complacent aim for three weeks. Then five then ten..if you do ten you will be free it's easy from there trust me

Or you can sign up to a local help centre. Stick to the action plan they set you for 12 weeks and then they will pay for rehab for you for free?

Hi libertas, Thanks for the reply I will never become complacent again that life is totally behind me. I've had to face demons and defeat them to get where I am. I will never out myself through that 10 weeks of anxiety and withdraw ever again. The constant overthinking and panic attacks and not being able to think clearly. And yes I do have a challenge. I think it must be hard for her because she probably expected me to be sat somewhere in a ditch with no money off my face... When in fact I've saved money got two cars, got new jobs and doing college and am saving for a mortgage (once my divorce goes through) Must be hard for her to take I understand that bit. Hopefully it does calm down though