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Posts by Fullmoon

joined

7 posts in 3 threads

Payday hit? by

Im so sorry!! I completely understand the feeling of being so angry you want to scream and dont want to be in the same room. Im also so sick and tired of the waiting for him to come home and apologise. It gets harder and harder to swallow your anger each time. Youve genuinely summarised how I feel so well. Today everything is great but only two nights ago I was sat here crying after I realised hed stolen 50 from my handbag to go and buy cocaine. Now is the calm apologetic time. Everything will be fine until its not again. Im here trying to solve all his problems again and paying for everything until his payday comes.. and hence the dread because I genuinely need him to pay me back what he owes me (usually 500 by the end of every month) in order to survive. Im really sorry. Sending you a big hug. I wish I could make it better for you but always here if you need someone to listen. Xx

2 of 4 posts

When the addict leaves by

Likewise... im here anytime you need. Currently in a really lovely moment wherr hes showing me who he used to be, one week clean but I know what will happen at the end if the month once he gets paid. Its the calm before the storm because his parents have thrown him out (he went there to binge 3 weeks ago and they have now had enough) and I will also ask him to leave if the same thing happens. Its such a surreal situation with the lockdown... he cant work so i have him in front of me 24/7. There is no chance for him to lie and things are great... but I know I have accept that this isnt sustainable long term eventually he will be out of my sight and ill be a paranoid wreck again driving myself over the edge because of the lies only to be told im crazy and imagining things. Theres no shame in talking about what you are going through, you are very brave in opening up. Dont bottle it up xxxx

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