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Posts by Georgie1410


49 posts in 18 threads

Theresa by

Hi Kelly8 It sounds like you are going through hell, I feel like we all live in some kind of purgatory having to pay for something - I just don't know what! Maybe see your GP if the sleepless nights and worry are making it hard to function. They could give you time off if you need it. I would say pretty much most young people - if they have any money - are using some drug or other (and I include alcohol). But not all of them get addicted. What I want to know is why the government are not taking this seriously. And why universities are not clamping down on drug use and not drug testing their students. They have drug policies but what good does that do? young people need help - especially boys. Their brains are not even fully developed for a few more years. After months of hounding my son, changing antidepressants etc - he has finally arranged an assessment for ADHD. Yesterday we went through a mountain of questions that he had to answer before the assessment. I'm not sure if it changes anything if they find out they have a mental health issue, but at least we know that they maybe trying to mask something with the drugs - maybe they are trying to calm their thoughts and fear and anxiety down. Maybe take a look on the website Psychiatric UK- they are the organisation the NHS are using - they are private as well as NHS. We were lucky because we fall in an area where we can get it on the NHS. But honestly I would have paid privately. The website has loads of useful videos regarding drugs and mental health diagnosis adults and children. I would also like my son to have an assessment for Autism because I can see some behaviors that present in individuals with Autism. It makes sense to me that we have so many boys with addictions and these 'conditions' Autism, ADHD etc seem to be more present in boys than girls. The medical profession already know that there is more chance of drug use if a person has a mental health issue i.e bipolar, ocd, autism, adhd - the list goes on. I think the assessment is done by two video calls. But all the information is on there. The first step is the GP - they give you a questionnaire to fill in and then refer you on if you score highly on the assessment. Good luck.x

After an alcohol ex. by

Hi - no one has responded to you and I feel really sorry about this. I think you may have PTSD and that is why you feel that alcohol will lead to something more dangerous. I think if you try (and I know it's hard because my partner died of alcoholism) not to worry when he is drinking - it won't become an issue. It is basically the law of attraction....I think. Also, just want to say - there are many people on here with more experience than me who could have responded to your message, but it seems to sometimes be a 'no mans land'. You reach out for help and no one responds, not sure why that is. Seems pointless having a forum when people are clearly suffering.


1 of 6 posts

Advice please!!! by

Thank you Esta - every day is a test for me. But I am trying to support my son through this. Gabor Mate has helped me so much in understanding addiction. I truly advise everyone on here to listen to him. You totally understand the perspective of the addict and the pain and suffering they feel - and in some ways it helps you to gain acceptance instead of fighting for them to change. I no longer feel disappointed in them - I feel sadness for them. This emptiness that they can't fill. Like you say - only they can want that.xx

by Esta

3 of 12 posts

Where do I start by

Well I did the same with my son - but he didnt stop. He has been getting therapy from drug and alcohol services but they have never met him- it's just phone calls. I believe my son is also on the spectrum and would never kick him out. All of this has broken our relationship so he is now moving out because we can barely be in the same room. I think we will take years to heal from this. I think it is your choice - you could try this and maybe for you it will work. Tough love is very difficult. I worked for a homeless charity and I don't believe people recover from drug addiction through homelessness - I think therapy is a good idea but it has to be good therapy. And he has to want to change - he is still very young.

1 of 2 posts

Devoured by anxiety by

I'm so sorry Sabu - my partner died of alcoholism at the age of 46. He left me and my son aged 5 (he now has his own addictions and I feel like I am going through this again). I don't know why we are being tested like this - but today I woke up with my body shaking, unable to catch my breath - totally in panic. Every morning is like this and I don't know how to live with this anxiety for much longer - but I feel we must. Please stay strong and know that none of this is your fault - it sounds like your father has suffered from 'poverty trauma' which is a very real thing and you may want to read about this. My father also suffered from this and he was also an immigrant so we were very poor. Sending love and support.x

1 of 2 posts

I'm struggling by

I went through this 16yrs ago. None of this is your fault, no matter how long you were with him the reality is your life never really began. You have always been held back by the addiction. You have to grief, and maybe you will never get over this but for me I got a degree and I moved on and enjoyed other aspects of life I had missed out on. Unfortunately I am going through this again with my son so I have no answers but you have to take care of yourself and your daughters. Addiction is a form of slow suicide. It's only when the person realises they don't really want to die that they stop. We cant make the choices for that person - it is people like us that love/care too much that tolerate this for years and years... and in a way enable that person to continue their addiction through our unconditional love. But that doesn't mean you are to blame, it means that we are afraid we will hurt them more by giving up on them - so we too are learning a lesson that that is really not the case. They choose their ending - you now have to choose your new beginning and remember him the best way you can. Much love and prayers for you and your

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