Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Georgie1410

joined

32 posts in 18 threads

After an alcohol ex. by

Hi - no one has responded to you and I feel really sorry about this. I think you may have PTSD and that is why you feel that alcohol will lead to something more dangerous. I think if you try (and I know it's hard because my partner died of alcoholism) not to worry when he is drinking - it won't become an issue. It is basically the law of attraction....I think. Also, just want to say - there are many people on here with more experience than me who could have responded to your message, but it seems to sometimes be a 'no mans land'. You reach out for help and no one responds, not sure why that is. Seems pointless having a forum when people are clearly suffering.

by Hilton

1 of 5 posts

Advice please!!! by

Thank you Esta - every day is a test for me. But I am trying to support my son through this. Gabor Mate has helped me so much in understanding addiction. I truly advise everyone on here to listen to him. You totally understand the perspective of the addict and the pain and suffering they feel - and in some ways it helps you to gain acceptance instead of fighting for them to change. I no longer feel disappointed in them - I feel sadness for them. This emptiness that they can't fill. Like you say - only they can want that.xx

by

3 of 12 posts

Theresa by

I know but he wants to get an assessment for ADHD but needs to be clean. So maybe that's why he gets a medical and declared clean - I don't know. He has given her permission to talk to me but I just dont want to have a conversation in case I get angry with her. He said I could go to the clinic with him and meet her when he gets his assessment. That might be easier for me, I will see how I feel. I think his addiction is related to friendships and not fitting in - and as you say I never offered him that first line - his friends did. I'm not going to argue anymore with him - maybe with his girlfriend and once he moves away he can see things more clearly. I'm not perfect but he makes me sound like a witch - god knows what he's told his friends and partner about me.

7 of 951 posts

Where do I start by

Well I did the same with my son - but he didnt stop. He has been getting therapy from drug and alcohol services but they have never met him- it's just phone calls. I believe my son is also on the spectrum and would never kick him out. All of this has broken our relationship so he is now moving out because we can barely be in the same room. I think we will take years to heal from this. I think it is your choice - you could try this and maybe for you it will work. Tough love is very difficult. I worked for a homeless charity and I don't believe people recover from drug addiction through homelessness - I think therapy is a good idea but it has to be good therapy. And he has to want to change - he is still very young.

1 of 2 posts

Devoured by anxiety by

I'm so sorry Sabu - my partner died of alcoholism at the age of 46. He left me and my son aged 5 (he now has his own addictions and I feel like I am going through this again). I don't know why we are being tested like this - but today I woke up with my body shaking, unable to catch my breath - totally in panic. Every morning is like this and I don't know how to live with this anxiety for much longer - but I feel we must. Please stay strong and know that none of this is your fault - it sounds like your father has suffered from 'poverty trauma' which is a very real thing and you may want to read about this. My father also suffered from this and he was also an immigrant so we were very poor. Sending love and support.x

1 of 2 posts

I'm struggling by

I went through this 16yrs ago. None of this is your fault, no matter how long you were with him the reality is your life never really began. You have always been held back by the addiction. You have to grief, and maybe you will never get over this but for me I got a degree and I moved on and enjoyed other aspects of life I had missed out on. Unfortunately I am going through this again with my son so I have no answers but you have to take care of yourself and your daughters. Addiction is a form of slow suicide. It's only when the person realises they don't really want to die that they stop. We cant make the choices for that person - it is people like us that love/care too much that tolerate this for years and years... and in a way enable that person to continue their addiction through our unconditional love. But that doesn't mean you are to blame, it means that we are afraid we will hurt them more by giving up on them - so we too are learning a lesson that that is really not the case. They choose their ending - you now have to choose your new beginning and remember him the best way you can. Much love and prayers for you and your family.xxx

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